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And Vincent D’Onofrio as “Harvey Weinstein”…

And Vincent D’Onofrio as “Harvey Weinstein”… (photo)

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We all love Harvey Weinstein. He makes irresistible quote-bait and once had the world’s greatest filmmakers in his paw (these days he has to settle for Rob Marshall, oof).

Harvey’s been exhaustively covered and scrutinized whenever he’s stopped being Nixon-level paranoid and let journalists near. These days, more than ever — as if he’d been transformed into Uma Thurman’s Bride, buried alive before his time — he’s a fascinating subject for a profile.

But is he enough of one for a movie? Vincent D’Onofrio’s now slated to play the former Miramax mogul in an adaptation of Peter Biskind’s “Down And Dirty Pictures.”

12162009_sundanceauteurs.jpgIf you haven’t read it, it’s a fun read, a history of “the rise of independent film” that’s more like Biskind’s personal explanation for why independent film was dead… by 2004. It’s yellow journalism hastily printed and writ large for immortality, filled with entertaining if shakily accurate anecdotes and Biskind’s sometimes lousy taste (“Jackie Brown” is a terrible movie, and so on).

The fracas that surrounded the book it is just as enjoyable (for a good time, read up on the anonymously funded Biskind Blows website), but a movie adaptation seems like a train-wreck waiting to happen, if a potentially awesome one. It’s amazing enough that Biskind made it to paperback without someone trying to sue him, and who really wants to see a dramatized version of Harvey buying and locking movies in the vault? Or fighting with Jim Jarmusch over final cut on “Dead Man”? (Besides me. And I’m a bad demographic.)

Most importantly: what Biskind attempted to do was sound the death knell of indie film (five years ahead of everyone else, for whatever that’s worth). Dramatizing that — with B-list actors and cheesy re-enactments — seems like an ironically appropriate way of proving his point. If you really want to kill something, embalm it as a closed story, with a fixed trajectory and arc. The real question: is it tragedy, comedy or both?

And who’s going to play Tarantino and Jarmusch and all those other beyond-recognizable auteurs? Themselves? Is this a meta-con game? Is Charlie Kaufman writing it? Is this being funded by filmmakers wronged by Harvey Scissorhands? So many questions!

[Photos: Vincent D’Onofrio vs. Harvey Weinstein, used without permission; Jarmusch, Tarantino and Soderbergh]

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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