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“V” and the genuis 80’s theme song that was

“V” and the genuis 80’s theme song that was (photo)

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I remember well the epic original alien invasion series “V,” clad in pajamas, armed with a plastic lazer gun and a bucket of popcorn before people only made popcorn in a suspicious device called the microwave – I would stay up whenever it aired sporting a Fruit Roll-up lizard tongue. It was the best thing ever, with the nice guy 80’s hero from “The Beastmaster” (Marc Singer obvs) an angry typecast sensation, Michael Ironside, and hot aliens chicks who peeled their faces off to reveal their true reptilian nature.

It also had one of the best theme songs for the time, hands down. The creepy rhythmic jam was so perfect you could almost hear the bones of puny mammals being crushed in the jaws of sentient lizard people between the pounding percussion; fleets of Motherships descending on synth waves long before Roland Emmerich crapped out “Independence Day;” and bell tolls of humanity’s time running out the same year Ronnie raygun launched the Star Wars program in the death throws of nuclear holocaust paranoia.

Did you see ABC’s reinvention of the series the other night? Aside from one seriously adorable alien babe it was a severe disappointment. The writing was bad and the awesome theme song so nonexistent I cannot even find any information about it from ABC or the usual sources. The only interesting development is the relation to the band MUSE and their single, “Uprising.” It sounds to me like they took some amphetamines and some cues from the original to me.

Composers Joseph Harnell, who’s responsible for the United Artists logo music, and Dennis McCarthy, who has done scoring for heaps of science fiction series including every Star Trek incarnation, are responsible for the original “V” scoring. I think ABC should very quickly re-implement their work.

Original “V” theme song:

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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