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DID YOU READ

How’s a porn star supposed to go legit in these troubled times?

How’s a porn star supposed to go legit in these troubled times? (photo)

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Miyabi (real name: Maria Ozawa) is a 23-year-old Japanese porn star whose resume includes such tantalizing credits as “Monster Swallowing Ecstasy Maria Ozawa” (live-action tentacle porn), “Fallen Urine-Drinking Pig Idol” and “Multiple Black Rape.” And she was on the verge of broaden that resume with her first dramatic role — in an Indonesian film called “Kidnapping Miyabi” — when outrage from local religious groups caused the production to shut down.

Indonesia’s censorship laws are tough — not surprising, considering it’s the largest Muslim country in the world. “Kidnapping Miyabi” was supposed to be an innocuous teen comedy, where fans obsessed with her porn “accidentally kidnap her,” and she ends up opening a lingerie shop. “We have announced that we will put her on a pure comedy teenage movie, without any sex scene at all,” said Yoen K., one of the producers. “We want to release the film on December 31 so it will be a Happy New Year movie.”

It’s hard to argue with that logic, but Indonesia’s fundamentalist Muslim groups weren’t having it. “We will continue to reject her even if she will not be nude,” said Ma’ruf Amin, a member of the Muslim clerics’ board Indonesian Ullema Council. Umar Alatas of the Islam Defenders Front went one better: “If she comes here, we are ready to die fighting to cancel her visit.” There were protests and counter-protests; underwear was burned.

It’s worth noting that Miyabi is the most-Googled celebrity in Indonesia, and pirated copies of her DVDs have soared in Jakarta since the controversy. She’s not quite Japan’s answer to Sasha Grey, whose always made a big show of tying in her adult work to her reputation as hipster porn goddess — the hardcore idol who loves Godard — making her a natural to star in a Soderbergh movie. She’s poised between sexual extremity (have you ever seen live-action tentacle porn? I won’t link to it, but the first Google result is pretty disgusting, if you want to go there) and conforming to traditional Japanese womanhood. When asked about her relationship with a J-pop idol, she said “If I’m dating someone I will stay devoted to him! I have a rule against sex friends. It’s not a good thing, plus having one boyfriend is enough.”

Which isn’t enough for the Indonesian clerics who worry “many teenagers will see [out the movie], then after that they will idolise her and we are worried that they will eventually seek out her porn films.” Given her Google/bootleg stats, it seems like a lost battle, but it’s nice that somewhere where Traci “Hairspray” Lords doesn’t exist, porn stars going mainstream is still controversial.

[Photo: a Maria Ozawa e-card, cropped to be SFW]

IFC_Portlandia-S8_best-of-skits_subaru-blog

The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at IFC.com

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

Uncle-Buck

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…