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Are you ready for 20,000 spoonfuls of terror?

Are you ready for 20,000 spoonfuls of terror? (photo)

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In the pre-YouTube era, it was generally assumed that a short film was a director’s calling card, a stepping stone to prove that talent and resourcefulness lay within and that great things could be obtained with a real budget.

These days more people seem to be interested in watching YouTube videos than committing to a feature anyway — hence the success of Richard Gale’s “The Horribly Slow Murderer With the Extremely Inefficient Weapon.” The weapon is a spoon, and the short’s a fake trailer that promises a nine-hour spectacle of one tormented soul being repeatedly rapped all over his body with it.

Gale, a veteran of LA’s cable TV scene, previously directed a few straight-to-video thrillers. But now, according to Twitch‘s Todd Brown,, Gale’s been omnipresent at various genre, shorts and standard festivals worldwide, “screening this film to packed houses and — more often than not — collecting a nice piece of hardware in the form of audience and critics awards when things wrap up.” In response to constant camcorder bootlegs, Gale’s put the short up on YouTube:

It’s an all-purpose spoof: there’s a mystical Oriental fortune-teller who predicts doom for our hero, the girlfriend who walks out in disbelief, the white make-upped sadistic freak, and so on. At ten minutes, it just about sustains its joke: the laugh factor is variable (this post’s title is one of the better lines), but there are a few great meta-trailer gags and an approach to globe-hopping that’s as good as a walk around Vegas casinos.

Back in March, Gale said he planned for the upcoming DVD release to include “a full 90-minute ‘excerpt’ from the 9-hour feature.” In other words, “Horribly Slow Murderer” would really become a movie, if not quite the one promised (thank god). Maybe shooting an aspirational trailer for the full-length feature you’d like to make is the new short film.

[Photo: “The Horribly Slow Murderer With the Extremely Inefficient Weapon,” Chaos Rampage American Pictures, 2008.]

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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