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Patrick Swayze’s greatest hits

Patrick Swayze’s greatest hits (photo)

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I probably saw Patrick Swayze on “M*A*S*H” or one of his other early 80’s TV appearances, I used to be glued to the cathode ray nipple, but it was definitely “The Outsiders” where I first noticed him. I didn’t know then that he would appear in a war movie during the height of Cold War paranoia that would shape my world view for the entirety of the 1980’s. Man, all I wanted to do was kill commies. And who could have imagined that such a tough guy would write and sing such gay songs? How beautiful and unpredictable life is!

Let’s celebrate, here’s Swayze’s greatest hits:

1. “Red Dawn.” Writer/director John Milius, genius responsible for some of the most memorable lines in film has only directed a handful of films since this this pro-gun, pro-war, anti-communist neo-con film – Hollywood just couldn’t handle him. Every boy who saw this picture wanted nothing more than to be Patrick Swayze with Jennifer Grey on one arm, and a warm AK-47 slung over the other.

2. “Dirty Dancing.” Swayze’s biggest sleeper hit and one of the biggest of all time. I was suckered into seeing this by my Mom of course. My best friend and I, concerned mostly with praying for a real life Red Dawn were mortified to be in the theater. But by the end of the movie, I think maybe I just wanted to be Patrick Swayze with Jennifer Grey on one arm, and a warm tutu slung over the other.

3. “She’s Like the Wind” (see embed below). Speaking of “Dirty Dancing.” So few actors can do crossover well to music, but regardless of my personal taste, I must confess, Swayze nailed this. He wrote the song originally for the film “Grandview, U.S.A.” but it wasn’t used. It’s currently in the film “(500) Days of Summer.”

4. “The Outsiders.” Though you may not readily associate Swayze or director Francis Ford Coppola with the term, it is considered the the first Brat Pack movie.

5. “Ghost.” The much parodied pottery/”Unchained Melody” scene needs no further attention. I default to Swayze’s rendition of “I’m Henry the VIII, I Am.”

6. “Donnie Darko.” Cunning visions. Love, fear.

7. “Point Break.” I think this was an odd career choice after the leading man role in “Ghost,” but Swayze’s bad guy Bodhi is still memorable. Textbook likable bad guy I’d say.

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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