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Lego: The Motion Picture.

Lego: The Motion Picture. (photo)

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Every time a new ill-conceived attempt at turning a board/video game into a movie is announced, the internet wails “WHY, GOD, WHY?!” And a story this morning is sure to raise that chorus. First they came for the Transformers; then Hasbro cashed in on G.I. Joe, which the world apparently has accepted with gratitude. But… what’s that, now? You don’t care for these aggressive relics of the American military-industrial complex? Pacifist Danes to the rescue!

Yes, Lego is coming to a screen near you. Variety brings the news: Dan and Kevin Hageman, who’ve yet to have a movie in theaters but have scripted a few things in development, like “Castle Transylvania,” have been flying back and forth between American and Denmark for over a year to meet with Lego execs, who are understandably invested in protecting their core values. Said values, according to producer Dan Lin: “a fun factor, creativity and that imagination has no boundaries.” Mr. Lin is also producing a “Tom & Jerry” movie in live-action, but I’ll refrain from any cracks about the boundaries of his particular imagination.

Now, we all know that Lego has creative potential, because of Michel Gondry’s still-mindblowing video for “Fell In Love With A Girl.” (Lego does not always smile upon music-related endeavors; as the New York Times reported a few days ago, Spinal Tap got shut down when they tried to include a video for “Tonight I’m Gonna Rock You Tonight” on their upcoming concert DVD.) But to date, the Lego corporation’s sole official venture into film has been the lousy-looking DVD series “Bionical”.

How someone can shape a feature film from a line of building blocks unencumbered by backstory or narrative is almost impossible to imagine. But is blowing up this thinnest of material into the biggest of spectacles so much worse than, say, spending hundreds of millions on the literary nuances of Dan Brown? My constructive suggestion: Youtube + Lego = music video. Lego + movie = feature musical fun for the whole family? Hell, they could even make a stop-motion Transformers musical while they’re at it. If we can’t stave off the inevitable, why not have Jack White as Optimus Prime? Worse things have happened.

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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