Aside from my sincere interest in any of his creative endeavors (especially an actor who tries his hand at music), Joaquin’s ongoing identity blow out is too brilliant to ignore. The latest craze reported by the National Enquirer seals it for me.
Apparently unkempt in homeless attire and mumbling to himself, he walked into goth/costume dream store, Red Balls, on Melrose and went shopping. Obviously he picked out a black velvet cape, black pants and a mesh shirt, then proceeded to a dressing room where he ripped into a few raps before checking out.
At the register, when asked nervously by the salesgirl how he’d pay, he “banged down a wad of cash and yelled: ‘MONEY!'” [via Celebtichy].
I think he’s doing well, but I thought he could use a few rap lyric ideas. Joaquin, this for you dog…
It’s 3 am and I’m kinda up tight,
Casey Affleck been on my ass all night,
Paparazzi be movin’ in real hard,
Big man droppin’ dookies up in my yard.
National Enquirer got me on tape,
Ran across the room grab my velvet cape!
Then jumped out the window, yo not to smart,
Homeboy with the dookies cold took me apart.
Set that to the Amen break beat of NWA’s “Straight Outta Compton” and you set. I look forward to the documentary.