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“In every ‘Hamlet’ in America…”

“In every ‘Hamlet’ in America…” (photo)

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The Redbox legal saga started off complicated and dull, but it’s becoming nutty and hilarious. To recap: Redbox rents $1/day DVDs at automated kiosks at 7-Eleven, Walgreens, etc, also selling the used discs for as little as $7, sometimes as soon as 12 days after release, which is far cheaper, far faster than anyone else and will result in THE END OF MOVIES AS WE KNOW THEM. Or so a few major studios who’ve tried to cut off the company from their wholesalers believe. Universal, in particular, attempted to secure a 45-day pre-Redbox window for its DVDs, Redbox sued, and Monday morning Delaware District Court Judge Robert Kugler gave Redbox the go-ahead to proceed with an antitrust lawsuit.

Which is where it gets delightfully, unexpected fun. Judge Kugler’s 13-page ruling is no dry and incomprehensible document. Its lucid summation of the story so far puts most business reporters to shame, and it’s well worth reading for the clearest overview of the situation you’ll get. The first five pages are also overflowing with puns.

Kugler is evidently a cinephile of sorts, and he’s written his ruling up with movie titles in the weirdest places. Redbox works in “The ‘Burbs,” “in every ‘Hamlet’ in America,” and their expansion could be deemed “The Fast and the Furious.” Result? “Consumers are able to get more than ‘Two for the Money.’ ” Universal’s annoyance made Redbox take special steps: “With the ‘Mercury Rising’ in the relationship between Redbox and Universal, Redbox employees turned to a ‘Cloak and Dagger’ exercise, visiting Wal-Mart and Best Buy in an attempt to purchase multiple copies of Universal DVDs.” Subsequently, Redbox began “Raising Cain,” and shortly thereafter all parties concerned turned to their “Legal Eagles.”

There’s much more where that came from; don’t even get me started on the “Do The Right Thing” shout-out. And Kugler’s no fool about the rental habits of the average American: “a consumer approaching a Redbox kiosk on the weekend after the release of ‘Brüno’ will not be tempted to rent ‘To Kill A Mockingbird.’ “

Meanwhile, the Redbox team has boldly disguised their commercial ambitions as altruism, setting up a Save Low Cost DVDs website and Twitter, though they really out to shell out for a better designer if they want more than 40 followers. See, Redbox doesn’t just want to take over the DVD world; they want to help you, the consumer. Who knows what awesomeness is yet to come?

[Photo: Al Pacino demonstrates getting “Two for the Money,” Universal Pictures, 2005]

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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