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DID YOU READ

Conspiracies and Crucifixions

Conspiracies and Crucifixions (photo)

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You can’t address the state of indie film DVD-land without being bowled over by the cataract of activist documentaries, now made so cheaply and distributed so easily, assaulting the marketplace, and once you’re standing on that battlefield, you’re faced with the bedevilment of 9/11 conspiracy movies. As a core sample of the American soul, what could be more naked, more pertinent, more chilling? (Of course, if they’re even ten percent correct in the theories they lay out, there is nothing more relevant anywhere on the sociopolitical table.)

Dylan Avery’s “Loose Change,” which has by now undergone a series of tweakings and editions and semi-sequels — the most recent was released as “Loose Change: Final Cut,” though “Loose Change 9/11: An American Coup” is slated for a September release — is simply the latest DIY project in the genre and, it seems, the best informed. (Certainly, it lacks the burst-temple histrionics of Alex Jones’ “Terrorstorm.”) After you’ve seen a number of these films, which are righteous in spirit and generally fanatical about minutiae, the world surrounding you, and the scope of recent history, shrinks around your skull like a claustrophobic’s shuttered room.

Conspiracy qualm is, of course, a great American tradition, so much so that Thomas Pynchon made a literary career out of farcically fabricating “backchannel” historical forces and thereafter establishing certain creepy views of a secretly interconnected world as “Pynchonian.” (Reality itself can fall into question under the weight of this kind of suspicion, to the degree that the JFK theories have even produced James Fetzer’s book “The Great Zapruder Film Hoax,” which maniacally illustrates how the very frames and emulsion of the famous 8mm film are unquestionably fake. I couldn’t put that damn book down.)

What accumulates with the 9/11 docs is Pynchonian beyond the man’s wildest dreams — the allure of real life being seen as a piece of spectacular, looming contrivance is irresistible (as are Pynchon’s mammoth, limitless texts, to think about if not always to deep-read). Consider the 9/11 theories as a kind of “Da Vinci Code” fueled by the memory of very real outrages from recent history (Mossadegh, Operation Northwoods, the Bay of Pigs, the Tonkin Gulf, COINTELPRO, the Allende coup, Iran-Contra, etc.), and you get a sense of the addictive properties at work.

But what about the facts? Avery’s film, like many of its mini-genre, is a fire-alarm admixture of smug conjecture, tantalizing questions and haunting conundrums (which too often resemble the documented conspiracy debacles of the past.). Practically speaking, it is the last two factors that should concern us. Amid piles of suspicious suspicion — he goes so far as to play the only swatch of stewardess phone call from the hijacked aircraft made public, and wonders, does she sound even slightly scared? — Avery presents an enormous amount of deeply troubling info, including scores of live TV witnesses that morning (among them firemen on site) that attest to hearing explosions that had nothing to do with the fires on the upper floors, expert testimony as to the impossibility of the buildings’ collapse (and the subsequent retractions), the bizarre lack of detritus from both the Washington and Shanksville crashes, the fact that WTC owner Larry Silverstein stood to gain billions from a terrorism insurance policy he signed just a few weeks earlier, and so infinitely on.

08042009_LooseChange2.jpgI won’t bother making Avery’s case for him; it’s preposterous and huge and terrifying, and is comprised only of stray contradictions and half-conclusions, which is often all the mainstream media needs (if they even ask for that) to declare people of Avery’s tribe to be crackpots. Maybe they are in the end, but the point remains that Avery doesn’t have all of the facts because all of the facts — the phone call recordings, the closed camera footage outside the Pentagon, the planes’ black box recordings, etc. — are locked away by the government, presumably for our own good. Perhaps conspiracy theories are an inevitable step toward truth-finding in a culture where the government has no transparency or accountability, and is run by the same few hundred ethically compromised power-holders, year after year. (Bush’s administration was a frat party of Nixonites and Reaganites, but even Obama’s house is filled with old guard honchos, with the remainder manning the boards of the many big industries dependent on tax dollars.)

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Final Countdown

The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at IFC.com

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Rev Up

Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Give Back

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…