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All your questions about George Hamilton will be answered.

All your questions about George Hamilton will be answered. (photo)

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Blessed with an absolute lack of self-awareness, George Hamilton has been America’s favorite actor/tanner for near on 50 years now, even if his currency as a pop-culture punchline expired in the late ’70s, in a series of “Doonesbury” strips where he mentored Zonker Harris on the art of bronzing. But he perseveres.

Last year he graced the world with his autobiography “Don’t Mind If I Do,” and Friday viewers everywhere will get a chance to see his dramatized teenage years. “My One And Only” stars the perma-hapless Renée Zellweger as George’s mother, gallivanting across the country in search of the perfect man; presumably George sits back and takes notes, preparing for his future career as the Wilt Chamberlain of Hollywood. Sadly, it would appear that Hamilton losing his virginity to his stepmother at age 12 (per his memoir, “nice and easy”) didn’t make the script.

It’s hard to tell why this project came into being — a faithful, gloves-off adaptation of Hamilton’s life would play like a real-life Dorian Gray, but “My One And Only” ain’t that. A shame: the real thing would be considerably more interesting and would in the very least give that Tucker Max movie a run for its money.

At 70, his star freshly added to the Hollywood Walk of Fame, Hamilton remains a matchless source of inadvertent interview hilarity. Impatiently reviewing his memoir in the New York Times, Ada Calhoun pointed out the matchless sentence “For a so-called dictator, Ferdinand Marcos seemed awfully civilized.” (Let the man tan and he doesn’t care about anything.) Talking to the Hollywood Reporter about his star last week, Hamilton offers gems about choosing film roles in his ’60s heyday: “If I felt the script was too heavy, I didn’t want it — because then I had to learn too many lines.” Would he do Shakespeare? “No. I find Shakespeare fabulous to listen to and I love it, but I just hate learning dialogue. I’ve hated it my whole life.” A bold admission for a professional actor. And his old pal Imelda Marcos? “I admire people who rise above things.” Rise above, Imelda. Rise above.

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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