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Best films to jam to before heading to the Caribbean (Pt. 2)

Best films to jam to before heading to the Caribbean (Pt. 2) (photo)

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Wes Craven’s “The Serpent and the Rainbow” is easily one of the most freaked out films of the 80’s. If that’s too bold a statement, let’s say it’s definitely one of the most freaked out 80’s films set in the Caribbean. I’m pretty sure I was permanently scarred by it’s voodoo… anytime I see someone who looks like Bill Pullman I feel like I can’t breathe. But as horrifying as it’s depiction of Haiti was/is, laying on a resort’s white sandy beach there today is actually more disturbing.

You can see some of the most impoverished people in the world along the border fences, walled off from the corporate owned beaches. If you try to feed them or help them in any way, you risk being responsible for one of the native “guards” (tasked with preventing contact) losing his meager, family-supporting job. Inflatable “icebergs” and other plastic eyesores adorn the deep harbors, playthings for bratty privledged children who cannot appreciate a tropical beach as is. The largest cruise ships in the world can be seen offshore, dwarfing the wooden shack covered jungle slopes of the island. The cruise lines have modified wheel chairs with cartoonish bubble wheels to roll loud fat people around on the beach who are too huge and overfed to walk, while the starving look on, I kid you not. Real life zombies are all over, and I’m not just talking about the hungry native kids.

The Serpent and the Rainbow

Before Night Falls

Revolution. An (attempted) escape by balloon ship! There are so many things going for this film, and even though it’s actually a horrible tale, it’s beauty outweighs that. Javier Bardem is incredible, and still underrated. Johnny Depp as Bon Bon and Lieutenant hard on is more than anyone can ask for. So nice to see the Johnny Depp we love and not the commodity that Bruckheimer bought and marketed in Dbags of the Caribbean (although I admit to watching one of the movies last time was there and it did take my mind off an evening of high seas + bad food nausea). And of course “Before Night Fall’s” cool Cuban soundtrack seals the deal.

Dr. No

Maybe the best flick to get in the mood for living it up in the Caribbean is “Dr. No.” Two Bond movies yeah, I roll. When Ursula Andress emerges from the sea singing “Under The Mango Tree” to herself wearing the best bathing suit ever (complete with knife), you know you haven’t quite lived yet. Cause that shit’s never happened to you. It’s a reason to keep on going really. In Jamaica some of the old Bond shooting locations are like monuments. I’ll be there with my Tux on. Underneath the mango tree, me honey and mee

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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