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Nice score Sherlock

Nice score Sherlock (photo)

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Once a pioneer in fusing cutting edge electronics with traditional orchestrations, composer Hans Zimmer, sits comfortably among the top hotshot Hollywood go-to guys. His roster of blockbuster scores include the films, “Rain Man,” “Days of Thunder,” “The Lion King,” “Batman Begins,” “The Da Vinci Code” and “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End.” The problem is, his scores just sound like bloated old turds hitting a wet diaper now.

(Left: Jude Law, Robert Downey Jr., and Rachel McAdams in “Sherlock Holmes”)

It wouldn’t be a stretch to pin blame on Hans Zimmer for the formulaic sound of most big budget film scores. It’s not just sad moments calling for melancholy strings and intense moments calling for pounding beats. Every shot, every look, every choreographed action needs a big overproduced sound, just in case you’ve been lobotomized recently.

Obviously, many of the films he’s scored are not meant to be works of art. And some of the Director’s he’s worked for are cultural terrorists in suits. Sometimes, both are the case. “Pearl Harbor” for example should be shot into the Sun and erased from human memory (we already have the mediocre “Tora! Tora! Tora!” it’s action scenes are lifted from almost play by play anyway). But, regardless of his employers, his scores are always the same overbearing cacophony.

It looks like Guy Ritchie’s “Sherlock Holmes,” which otherwise looks like a good time, is set to be completely blown out by this Teutonic electronic flatulence. I hope Ritchie scales it back during the unfolding mystery, but his actiony reinvention of this classic tale does not bode well for subtlety.

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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