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Mama take this badge off of me

Mama take this badge off of me (photo)

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All the hubbub about Bob Dylan lately has inspired me to listen to a bunch of his records, something I don’t normally do. I have some favorite Dylan songs and give props but, I’ve never been a big fan. You see, I had the unfortunate experience of having some friends and acquaintances who just loved him so much they purposefully left little behind for me. I’m sure there’s some parallel in your life.

Allow me to indulge in this illustrative tale. There was one guy in particular who aggressively hoarded Dylan to himself. The kind of guy who hosts a “dinner” party, but there’s just a bowl of old pretzel’s and warm microbrew sitting out on the kitchen table when you arrive. I don’t don’t care for pretzel’s, they’re dry and boring. And I don’t drink warm beer, I like whiskey or wine because they make me feel alive, not bloated, but I make the best of things. I mingle and have some laughs, and quietly organize people to leave for more interesting places. But this time before I could make the move, the host gathered everyone around and unveiled his purpose in the gathering – which was to make all his friends sit silently and listen to his amateur covers of hit Bob Dylan songs, one after the other, in the uncomfortable apartment. It was all too familiar a trap. Bob Dylan was his guy, don’t you get it? You’ll never know enough about him, or love him nearly as much, and you’re reminded about it frequently.

But I’m over it now, mostly. And in celebration of that, here’s my favorite things about Bob Dylan:

His Outhouse.
Apparently, Dylan has a porta-potty on his property that is so potent, it is making his neighbors ill. The story in the LA Times reads like a Monty Python skit.

“The Times They Are A’Changin'” in “Watchmen.”
While “Watchmen” fans are often the kind of uber fanboys that leave little room for others to embrace what they live for, and while that film uses music like an intern at a porn company, I cannot help but love that intro.

The Civil War
Here’s a snippet, from the Times Online interview.

BF: Did you feel all the music Elvis must have heard?

BD:No, but I’ll tell you what I did feel. I felt the ghosts from the bloody battle that Sherman fought against Forrest and drove him out. There’s an eeriness to the town. A sadness that lingers. Elvis must have felt it too.

“Queen Jane Approximately”
It’s one of my favorite songs. You can find it on the album Highway 61 Revisited.

And best of all, Bob Dylan’s scoring of he Peckinpah film, “Pat Garrett & Billy the Kid,” in which he also stars with one helluva cast.

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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