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Blood: The Last Vampire

Blood: The Last Vampire (photo)

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I’m a sucker for Vampire pictures so I had to look into French director Chris Nahon’s new feature, about a tormented “teenage” girl (sweet 16 but going on 400) who hunts Vampires. “Blood: The Last Vampire,” is an adaptation of an anime film of the same title released in 2000 by director Hiroyuki Kitakubo. Set in Japan the story follows Saya, our half-human, half-vampire geriatric teenage protagonist as she confronts vampires who’ve infiltrated the population at a US Air Force base.

Producer Bill Kong (“Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon,” “Hero”) brings the Hong Kong magic, kick flying, and excessively elegant fight scenes that have become all to familiar. Being more of a Vampire purist, I prefer stories rooted in Christian/anti-Christian European lore. New twists are great but I hesitate to embrace a merging of two genres that are just fine on their own in my book. Vampire movies succeed on the seductive charisma of the villains, the conflict within the heroes, and the empathy for both. Too much explosive action and girls in little sailor outfits can kill that. Crouching character, hidden development.

Still, it looks like it could pull off enough story and be a wild ride. I mentioned Nahon after Memorial day upon discovering his prior collaboration with what is now the band, The Do. They didn’t compose the music on this one though, instead Nahon has enlisted composer Clint Mansell. Mansell’s work includes “Pi,” “The Fountain,” Requiem For A Dream,” and “The Wrestler.” Basically all of Darren Aronofsky’s films. This should be interesting.

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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