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LISTS: Fat Tuesday’s Top 10 Fat People In Music

LISTS:  Fat Tuesday’s Top 10 Fat People In Music (photo)

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In honor of Fat Tuesday (see also: Mardi Grad, Carnival, Shrove Tuesday), I’ve decided to compile a list of the Top 10 Fat People in Music. Before you cite me for a politically incorrect party foul, let it be known that I am not making fun of the following artists. It should also be pointed out that most of the artists making today’s list are not ashamed–and are even proud–of carrying around a few extra pounds.

10. Elvis
When compared to skinny-hip-shakin’-Elvis, fat-Elvis isn’t even in the same league. But let’s face it, even an Elvis not operating at 100% is better than most artists on their best day (and aren’t Kings supposed to be fat anyway?). Without fat-Elvis we’d also never have all the side-burn, jumpsuit-wearing imitators that make a living embracing Elvis’ late-career girth.

(left: Some may say that Les Savy Fav frontman Tim Harrington’s tummy is more famous than Tim Harrington himself.)

9. Damien Abraham
Damian Abraham, the somewhat chunky frontman of the Canadian punk band, Fucked Up, both frightens and fascinates me. He has also threatened to light Nickelback’s Chad Kroeger’s hair on fire if his band wins a Juno Award this year. Showing off his round, hairy chest on stage is enough to make this list, the latter anecdote is what we call “brownie points.”

8. The Fat Boys
Old-school hip-hop has many big boys to chose from: Afrika Bambaataa, KRS-One, De La Soul, Yo! MTV Raps’ Dr. Dre, Chubb Rock, MC Serch, and even Run-DMC’s Joseph Simmons got round with age. The Fat Boys, who may not boast the hits or popularity of the artists mentioned above, make the list just because their name was always so literal. The Fat Boys were–well–fat boys!

7. Fat Joe
For the same reason mentioned above Fat Joe makes the cut. His nom de plume is not just a clever nickname.

6. Tim Harrington
If you’ve ever seen Les Savy Fav live, than I’m sure you’ve seen the beach ball-sized tummy of out-of-his-mind, off-his-rocker frontman, Tim Harrington. At last year’s Pitchfork Festival, Harrington smeared his stomach in mud and began scripting his band’s initials on it. If he was petite–say like Prince–do you think I would have been able to make out “LSF” fifty yards away from the stage?

5. Beth Ditto
Call Beth Ditto “fat” and she’ll wear it like a badge. The lead singer of The Gossip doesn’t have a problem with flaunting her stuff either, as she’s done during many live performances and magazine photo spreads. Do a quick Google search if you don’t believe me.

4. M.I.A.
I wanted to squeeze M.I.A. on this list before she sheds all of her post baby weight. Any time you can get a genre bending, Grammy and Oscar nominated MC (who’s willing to perform pregnant) on any type of list–you do it.

3. Frank Black
Major label A&R people are probably still mystified that the Pixies’ Frank Black–who looks like a retired professional wrestler–is still more of a rock star than most of the artists on their roster.

2. Aretha Franklin
I kind of like the fact that Aretha Franklin gets a little larger every time you see her. I’m convinced that if she was thinner her voice wouldn’t be nearly as powerful.

1. Notorious B.I.G.
Some have called the Notorious B.I.G. the greatest rapper of all-time. I still believe KRS-One holds that distinction, but because I wasn’t sure if KRS-One was fat enough to make this list, Biggie Smalls takes home the #1 spot. He also embraced his fatness more than the Blastmaster. If Biggie Smalls was svelte like LL Cool J, his stage name and most of his lyrics wouldn’t have the same ring: I like it when you call me Big Poppa.

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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