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DID YOU READ

Opening This Week: Two more Holocaust dramas

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12292008_angelsblade.jpgBy Neil Pedley

After the feast of holiday offerings, there’s but a meager smattering on offer for a New Year nibble. This week brings two brand spanking new holocaust movies for anyone who still has the stomach (after the other four released in past weeks) or as a tasty alternative you can enjoy some bloody murder in the former Soviet Union or some bloody murder right here in the good ol’ U.S. of A. You decide.

“Angel’s Blade”
Depending on your tolerance for ultra low-budget horror, writer/director Robert Stock’s debut feature will either delight with its copious amounts of corn syrup-enhanced gore or look like someone had a camcorder out during an intense Halloween-themed session of LARP. Inspired by a supernatural encounter that spooked his infant son while idling on a lonely road one night, Stock was inspired to create this dark legend involving a young girl’s spirit haunting the backwoods, possessing passersby and leading them to commit terrible murders. Intuiting that this is the kind of story that indeed has some legs, Stock has already finished filming a sequel with a budget big enough to afford Corbin Bernsen.
Opens in limited release.

“Cargo 200”
Russian auteur Aleksei Balabanov lets his imagination run riot with this black-as-soot comic indictment of Soviet-era Communism described by its director as an attempt to inoculate against growing romantic nostalgia for the old empire. Set at the height of the Afghan conflict in 1984, casually invoking George Orwell’s pre-established dystopian nightmare, Balbanov’s film is a grievous tale of unchecked power run amok. Agniya Kuznetsova stars as Angelika, the free-spirited daughter of a high-ranking official who is abducted by a sadistic secret police captain (Aleksei Poluyan) hellbent on venting his deep-seated sexual inadequacy by way of a bloody murderous rampage.
Opens in New York.

“Defiance”
Fresh off the critical knocks of “Quantum of Solace,” Daniel Craig looks to take back a little credibility with Edward Zwick’s adaptation of Nechama Tec’s chronicle of Jewish resistance fighters in Nazi-occupied Poland, though still expect to see his chiseled scowl at any point in time. Abandoning the traditional notion amongst the Yanks that history doesn’t really exist until an American shows up to witness it, “Blood Diamond” director Zwick focuses on the Bielski Partisans (Craig, Liev Schreiber, Jamie Bell and George MacKay), a literal band of brothers who evaded German forces by force on a mission to recover and protect scattered Jewish refugees in the woods of Belarus.
Opens in limited release; expands on January 16th.

“Good”
Serving as a convenient and purely coincidental mirror to the Edward Zwick’s heroic saga of courage and loyalty, Austrian director Vicente Amorim’s adaptation of C.P. Taylor’s stage play deals with a crisis of conscience for an enfeebled literature professor John Halder (Viggo Mortensen) as he witnesses the resurgence of nationalism in 1930s Germany. When his latest book is hijacked as fodder for the Nazi propaganda machine, Halder has his weak will tested by his bullying wife (Jodie Whittaker) and party bigwigs as he is slowly pushed towards tacit acquiescence and the betrayal of his colleague and closest friend (Jason Issacs). As those who saw his collaborations with David Cronenberg can attest, nobody wrestles with their emotions quite like Mortensen, when he isn’t grappling nude on the floors of bathhouses.
Opens in limited release.

[Photo: “Angel’s Blade,” Stock’s Eye Productions, 2008]

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Rev Up

Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Give Back

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…

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A-O Rewind

Celebrating Portlandia One Sketch at a Time

The final season of Portlandia approaches.

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GIFs via Giphy

Most people measure time in minutes, hours, days, years…At IFC, we measure it in sketches. And nothing takes us way (waaaaaay) back like Portlandia sketches. Yes, there’s a Portlandia milepost from every season that changed the way we think, behave, and pickle things. In honor of Portlandia’s 8th and final season, Subaru presents a few of our favorites.

via GIPHY

Put A Bird On It

Portlandia enters the pop-culture lexicon and inspires us to put birds on literally everything.

Colin the Chicken

Who’s your chicken, really? Behold the emerging locavore trend captured perfectly to the nth degree.

Dream Of The ’90s

This treatise on Portland made it clear that “the dream” was alive and well.

No You Go

We Americans spend most of our lives in cars. Fortunately, there’s a Portlandia sketch for every automotive situation.

A-O River!

We learned all our outdoor survival skills from Kath and Dave.

One More Episode

The true birth of binge watching, pre-Netflix. And what you’ll do once Season 8 premieres.

Catch up on Portlandia’s best moments before the 8th season premieres January 18th on IFC.

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