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For Those About Barack (We Salute You)

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Yesterday, millions and millions of Americans pressed touch-screens, flicked levers, and punched chads all in an attempt to Barack the Vote. Some smelled what Barack was cookin’, others didn’t. As results began coming in, we saw Barack around the clock, and vote by vote, he continued to Barack On. Could he actually pull this off?

At 9PM, Barack was ahead of McCain both in popular and electoral votes, leading his supporters to proclaim: “I Love Barack n’ Roll” (put another dime in the jukebox baby!). Some once skeptical Americans, overcome by the excitement of the night, began swaying slightly to the left, singing, “I want to Barack with you all night!” Love was definitely in the air. Hmm, maybe Donnie Iris was right when he sang: Love is like Barack.

(left: Barack Hard Ride Free.)

At 10PM, the music got louder as excited Americans began to Barack the Night, singing some old Run-DMC classics, “Barack Box” and “King of Barack.” (I think I also heard “Barackit” by Herbie Hancock and the Beastie Boys’ first Def Jam single, “Barack Hard“.)

The streets were soon flooded with Barack-Rock-Rock N’ Roll High School kids showing their support by wearing their favorite punk-barack pins. Some older Americans in the crowd, who really thought it was going to be a long, long time until our country ever elected a black president, began humming Elton John’s “Barack-et Man.”

Then at 11PM it happened–party people, party people, can y’all get funky–America (as well as the rest of the world) became “Planet Barack”. This was a Barack of Ages (still rollin’, keep a-rollin’), yes indeed, some good ol’ fashion Barack and Roll Hoochie Koo. Cars driving down 125th Street in Harlem could be heard blasting Block Barackin’ Beats. Black people, white people, old people, and young people we’re partying like a Barack Star. I even saw some guy, who coincidentally looked a lot like Fatboy Slim, bust out the Barackafeller Skank.

The greatest underdog story of our time, Baracky Balboa, did it! He Baracked you (me, and the rest of America) like a Hurricane. He Baracked the Casbah, Baracked the House, and Baracked this Town, Baracked it inside out. Even in the wee hours of the morning, if you listened closely, you could hear off the distance, the familiar boom-boom-bap, boom-boom-bap, with Americans excitedly singing, “WE WILL, WE WILL, BARACK YOU!

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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