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…does this tote bag design really suck?

You’ll notice that it’s a SXSW 2008 bag, so yes, this rant is probably seven months too late, but while sitting in front of a computer all day in complete solitude, all types of random thoughts will cross one’s mind.

(left: I’ll bet you a quarter YOU could draw better than this.)

My wife has always been good about using the free swag I’ve received over the years, and while blogging yesterday I looked down at the floor and noticed her SXSW tote bag. After looking at it for a couple seconds, I couldn’t help but think, “Wow, that’s one crappy-ass design.” I then noticed the tag on the right-hand corner of the artwork, thurston/moore 2008, which led me to believe that Sonic Youth’s Thurston Moore created the picture.

Because I’ve drawn a picture or two in my lifetime, I came to the conclusion that it took Moore approximately 23 seconds to sketch the design. Each time I looked down at the bag I became more and more angry. Why would SXSW accept a design like that? Did they think we would be so impressed that–ooooooh, Sonic Youth’s Thurston Moore took some time out of his busy schedule to scribble some stick figures–we wouldn’t notice how shitty it was?

Apologies to CMJ. I guess it’s proper etiquette to not talk about another music festival while one is currently going on. I can only hope that five months from now, SXSW will have a better tote bag design for 2009.

Note: If by chance some kid created the design for some type of charity effort, I preemptively apologize. Like I said, some random stuff can cross one’s mind while staring at a computer screen all day long.

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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