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Considering Nic Cage.

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09032008_bangkokdangerous.jpg“Bangkok Dangerous,” the second U.S. film from Hong Kong sibling directorial team the Pang brothers, isn’t being screened for critics — this leaked clip provides a pretty good explanation as to why. Regardless, “Bangkok Dangerous” is a remake of an unexceptional Asian action flick of the same name (the Pangs’ 1999 debut) notable for being about a deaf-mute Thai street urchin turned assassin who, in this new rendering, is neither deaf nor mute nor Thai, but who is played by Nicolas Cage. The awesome shamelessness of Cage’s recent career has lead a few writers to giddily reflect on the once critically adored actor.

Dave White at MSNBC compares him to Michael Caine, explaining that “Back in the day, it was an easy assertion that Michael Caine was the hardest working actor alive. And the least reliable marquee name.” White’s actually all about late Cage, who he deems the “anti-Sean Penn” — “if I never saw him in any ‘quality’ movie again it would be too soon.”

And then he made “The Rock,” which grossed one zillion dollars, and he was liberated from the shackles of artistic purity he’d begun gnawing at around the time of “Honeymoon in Vegas.” From that moment on Cage didn’t have a care in the world. And by that I mean he just didn’t care. Which is a nice place to be in life. You’re finally free.

Drew Tewksbury at Chicago Metromix actually pens haikus inspired by various haircuts in the Cage career.

Mac Rogers at New York‘s Vulture blog wonders “How much more abuse are we going to take?” and declares the upcoming Cage/Herzog non-remake of “Bad Lieutenant” “easily the title to beat for Batshit Craziest Flick of the Decade.”

Elsewhere, Roger Clarke at the Independent gets the straight story on Cage’s consumption of a live cockroach back in 1989’s “Vampire’s Kiss” from director Robert Bierman: ” ‘Nick ate it, chewed it, and after the shot spat what was left out and took a shot of vodka.’ Bierman asked him to do it again. ‘In fact the second take wasn’t so good, and the cockroach didn’t move enough.’ “

[Photo: “Bangkok Dangerous,” Lionsgate, 2008]

+ Nicolas Cage: The anti-Sean Penn (MSNBC)
+ Hair today…gone tomorrow (Chicago Metromix)
+ Are We Approaching a Nicolas Cage Tipping Point? (New York)
+ Story of the Scene: ‘Vampire’s Kiss’ (1989) (Independent)

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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