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“The Road” to nowhere.

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08192008_theroad.jpgThe complete Toronto line-up has finally been unveiled — Eugene Hernandez at indieWIRE has the long list of 312 films from 64 countries, 249 of those features.

Among the last round of announcements is the Paris Hilton documentary no one knew they wanted, Adria Petty’s “Paris, Not France,” a film that’s intrigued Spout‘s Karina Longworth into a link round-up; “The Illusionist” director Neil Burger’s post-Iraq War road trip film “The Lucky Ones,” with Rachel McAdams and Tim Robbins; a work-in-progress screening of “New York, I Love You,” Gotham’s answer to short film omnibus “Paris, je t’aime”; and the Coens’ “Burn After Reading,” fresh from its August 27th premiere as the opening night film at Venice.

Looking over the line-up, I do wonder — where the hell’s John Hillcoat’s “The Road”? It has a release date of November 14th and as shiny and festival-friendly a pedigree as a film can really manage, with Pulitzer Prize-winning source material, a lead whose last role was a gala premiere at Toronto in 2007 and got him an Oscar nomination, and a director whose previous film screened at Toronto 2005 — and yet, nothing. IMDb has, for a while now, had its premiere listed as taking place on September 29 at the New York Film Festival, but that’s hardly an official pronouncement, and it’s certainly not part of the NYFF line-up at the moment. I wouldn’t read forewarnings of quality into any of this, it just seem unusual that the Weinsteins wouldn’t take a prestige title like that out for the standard festival unveiling. Just look at how skinny and dirty Viggo is in the picture — give that man an award, 30 seconds of acceptance speech time and a sandwich.

At the LA Times over the weekend, John Horn checked in on the film, reporting that “Fox Searchlight passed on distributing the film, fearful that its apocalyptic plot and unspeakable atrocities were too demanding to sell to a wide audience. ‘People do rationalize’ about why ‘The Road’ is too difficult, says 2929 production chief Mark Butan, who nevertheless dismissed such worries as unfounded.”

[Photo: “The Road,” MGM, 2008]

+ TORONTO ’08 | 249 Features for 33rd TIFF; 61 From First-Timers (indieWIRE)
+ Paris Hilton Doc: Here’s What We Know (Spout)
+ Cormac McCarthy’s ‘The Road’ comes to the screen (LA Times)

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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