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Odds: Untouchable Paris, leaves, Woody Allen’s “blackish comedy.”

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07302008_parishilton.jpgTaking photos with Paris Hilton, who was at Comic-Con promoting “Repo: The Genetic Opera,” two MTV News staffers found they displayed an identical and apparently instinctive reluctance to actually have to touch the heiress. [MTV] Maybe they’d just watched too much footage from the film, which is directed by “Saw II”-“IV”‘s Darren Lynn Bousman, and which, like many a movie monster, looked infinitely better when it was half-imagined — Defamer has a clip,

The New York Times gets around to tackling the topic of self-distribution, with John Anderson starting with the upcoming “Bottle Shock” and moving on to smaller fare like “Ballast” and “Last Stop for Paul.”

Ridley Scott’s “Nottingham” was postponed because of leaves, according to the Independent. Leaves… and the possibility of a SAG strike.

The Woody Allen/Larry David movie? “Whatever Works,” a “blackish comedy.” [Big Screen Little Screen]

The Guardian follows “Man on Wire”‘s Philippe Petit to a street performance in Washington Square.

And what is this whole “Twilight” thing the kids are hyperventilating over? According to Laura Miller at Salon, the novels (which have spawned an upcoming film) are literary crack:

Search a little deeper on the Internet and you can find women readers both objecting to the antifeminist aspects of Twilight and admitting that they found the books irresistible. “Sappy romance, amateurish writing, etc.,” complained one. Still, “when I read it, I just couldn’t put it down. It was like an unhealthy addiction for me … I’m not sure how I could read through it, seeing how I dislike romances immensely. But I did, and when I couldn’t get ‘New Moon’ I almost had a heart attack. That book was hypnotizing.”

[Photo: Paris Hilton at Comic-Con, courtesy of MTV]

+ Would You Touch Paris Hilton? A Philosophical Question To Ponder… (MTV)
+ Paris Hilton’s Genitals Finally Go Legit In ‘Repo: The Genetic Opera’ (Defamer)
+ No Film Distributor? Then D.I.Y. (NY Times)
+ Robin Hood and the wrong sort of leaves (Independent)
+ Woody’s Latest: ‘Whatever Works’ With Larry David (Big Screen Little Screen)
+ Man on Wire for hire (Guardian)
+ Touched by a vampire (Salon)

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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