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Odds: “Oh yes, Lucas would really dare to put something like that in!”

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05082008_indianajones.jpgKevin Maher at the London Times tries to interview John Hurt, who’s been forbidden by the studios to discuss his role in “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.” Maher attempts to come up with a workaround:

I suggest a game. I’ll run plot points (gleaned from the internet and beyond) by him, and will judge their validity, or not, by his reactions. There’s more than one Crystal Skull? “Hmmm, interesting,” he says. Your character comes back from the dead? “He’d be called Lazarus, wouldn’t he?!” There’s a cameo from the Elephant Man? “Depends on how you look at it.” And, finally, with [Quentin] Crisp in mind, you have a homosexual relationship with Indiana Jones. “I wish!” he says, before sneering: “Oh yes, Lucas would really dare to put something like that in!”

Samantha Geimer, the girl behind Roman Polanski’s 1977 Waterloo, showed up for Tuesday’s premiere of now-HBO doc “Roman Polanski: Wanted and Desired.” From New York: “Coming to the premiere, likewise, was a way to try to get the press off her back. ‘I figure if I keep talking to people, maybe they’ll get tired of me,’ she says. ‘That’s one of my theories, that no one will want to talk to me anymore! Hasn’t worked yet.’ “

Sean O’Neal talks with Troma’s Lloyd Kaufman at the Onion AV Club. On “Poultrygeist”:

[W]e’re living in an age of remakes, so we decided we’d do a shot-by-shot remake of that hilarious, slapstick-gore movie Schindler’s List. But instead of the Jews, we put in several hundred chicken Indian zombies, and instead of the concentration camps, we’ve got concentration coops. Liam Neeson wasn’t quite up to the task, so we hired the very famous Shakespearean actor Ron Jeremy. I predict Poultrygeist is going to be very favorably looked upon by the Schindler’s List crowd.

There’s a Bollywood remake of “Spider-Man” in the works, according to io9. Shah Rukh Khan will star.

Michael J. Jordan at the Christian Science Monitor looks at the Kazakhstan film industry, sans “Borat.”

[Photo: “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull,” Paramount Pictures, 2008]

+ Me and Mr Jones: is John Hurt the latest Indiana Jones villain? (London Times)
+ The Surprise Guest at the Roman Polanski Documentary Premiere: The Woman in Question (New York)
+ Lloyd Kaufman (Onion AV Club)
+ The Bollywood Version Of Spider-Man Is Better, Because He Can Fly (io9)
+ Kazakhstan seeks identity on the big screen (CS Monitor)

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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