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DID YOU READ

IT’S LIKE THAT: SXSW 101

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Sometimes I forget to realize that not everyone knows about SXSW. Maybe some people think it’s a vacation resort that hands out oval decals? Maybe they think it’s a sport? Possibly an airport? Before you get SXSW confused with OBX or LAX, let me be kind enough to explain (and fear not my friends, no question is a stupid question. I promise not to roll my eyes at you like the kid in tight jeans working the CD section at Best Buy):

SXSW, stands for South by Southwest, and believe me, the abbreviation is a lifesaver. Could you imagine having to type out South By Southwest a couple thousand times (talk about carpal tunnel)? SXSW (see how easy that is) is a music and media conference held yearly in Austin, TX. It begins with a film festival, followed by four intense days of music (Wednesday-Saturday). Originally, afternoons were used for attending music conferences and panel discussions, while the evening hours were reserved for taking in live performances from various up-and-coming bands. In the last few years though, it seems like acts –of all different stature and genres–are playing morning, noon, and night.

SXSW doesn’t have one main stage, instead, there are various venues in which artists perform. Upon your first visit to the festival, you’ll be asking yourself, “How does Austin squeeze so many live music venues into such little space?” It’s probably the only time in your life you can walk a total of five blocks and see three of your favorite bands in one night.

If you are attending your first SXSW this year, or planning a trip to the festival sometime in the future, here are some helpful tips:

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Breakfast
Gotta start your day off right. A lot of the hotels in town have a good breakfast, but my favorite is still Las Manitas–an authentic Mexican diner that serves up huevos rancheros and freshly squeezed orange juice. It’s a bit pricey (for well-made cheap Mexican food), but every morning you’re guaranteed a tasty meal and the chance of seeing a handful of bands. It closes in the afternoon, so get there early.

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The Pocket Guide
After checking into SXSW, you’ll be given a large canvass bag packed to the brim with sampler CD’s, magazines, flyers, and odd trinkets. Make sure there’s a “pocket guide” in there. This handy publication fits nicely into your back pocket, and includes a layout map of downtown and a complete music schedule. If you lose your pocket guide, you’ll be forced to refer to the official guide–which will not fit nicely into your back pocket.

Lunch
Lots of good BBQ in Austin–take your pick. I’m a fan of Iron Works, not only because you get served cafeteria style (plastic tray and all), but they also serve the biggest ribs I’ve ever seen.

Surprise Show
During the past few years, the “surprise show” has become all the rage at SXSW. This poses one big problem for the concertgoer–it’s a surprise–so you don’t know when or where the surprise band is playing. A couple years ago the Beastie Boys were rumored to be playing a surprise gig at SXSW. I talked to all my contacts, kept my ear to the street, and was still misinformed. Early in the evening I got a frantic call from one of my friends, “Beasties are playing at Stubb’s in fifteen minutes.” I managed to catch the show, but the fifteen-minute sprint across town was a tad stressful. Unfortunately (for the uninformed), the surprise matinee show is starting to become more popular at SXSW. Nothing I can tell you here–you just gotta get the right information from the right people.

The La Zona Rosa Dilema
Most of the venues in Austin are very close to each other, but La Zona Rosa is one of the few that’s a bit isolated. If you want to catch a 9PM set at La Zona Rosa, just know that you’ll probably miss a good portion of the 10PM show at any other SXSW venue. Is it worth it? That’s the La Zona Rosa Dilema.

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Not Too Loud With The Name Drops
Last year I made the mistake of seeing former-120 Minutes pal Matt Pinfield at a restaurant and excitedly yelled across the dining room, “Hey Matt! What’s going on?” I didn’t realize that 30 people would turn in unison and proceed to grill the music master (shouting out Pinfield’s name at SXSW is like dropping “Chris Berman” at a sports broadcaster’s convention). If I see Matt this year, I’ll be more covert when saying hello. Otherwise he may not get to eat.

The Line at Stubb’s
Stubb’s hosts more of the bigger-profile shows at SXSW. In order to beat the long lines, you usually have to get there an hour early. This Wednesday, if you really want to see R.E.M. at midnight, you’ll have to miss all of the 11PM performances (the La Zona Rosa Dilema in reverse). Are you willing to make that sacrifice?

Have Fun!
Hopefully this is implied.

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Rev Up

Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Give Back

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…

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A-O Rewind

Celebrating Portlandia One Sketch at a Time

The final season of Portlandia approaches.

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Most people measure time in minutes, hours, days, years…At IFC, we measure it in sketches. And nothing takes us way (waaaaaay) back like Portlandia sketches. Yes, there’s a Portlandia milepost from every season that changed the way we think, behave, and pickle things. In honor of Portlandia’s 8th and final season, Subaru presents a few of our favorites.

via GIPHY

Put A Bird On It

Portlandia enters the pop-culture lexicon and inspires us to put birds on literally everything.

Colin the Chicken

Who’s your chicken, really? Behold the emerging locavore trend captured perfectly to the nth degree.

Dream Of The ’90s

This treatise on Portland made it clear that “the dream” was alive and well.

No You Go

We Americans spend most of our lives in cars. Fortunately, there’s a Portlandia sketch for every automotive situation.

A-O River!

We learned all our outdoor survival skills from Kath and Dave.

One More Episode

The true birth of binge watching, pre-Netflix. And what you’ll do once Season 8 premieres.

Catch up on Portlandia’s best moments before the 8th season premieres January 18th on IFC.

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