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Odds: Wednesday – The high and the low.

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Princess Selenia.
The Berlin Film Festival has added nine more films to its line-up, including Mike Leigh’s "Happy-Go-Lucky" and Isabel Coixet’s Philip Roth adaptation "Elegy." And yet, nothing continues to draw the heart quite like the promise of Madonna’s directorial debut, whose "Filth and Wisdom" will screen in the "Panorama" avant garde section (!) of the festival, reports Reuters.

Nathan Lee at the Village Voice on Apichatpong Weerasethakul: "Distinguished by their inventive mix of fiction and documentary modes, Apichatpong’s eccentric narratives sparkle with fleeting natural phenomenon, unplanned gestures, happy discoveries."

Travis Emmett devises Jerry Bruckheimer’s laws of science in Esquire. We’re fond of "The Law of Jurisdictional Authority":

Your jurisdictional authority, on a scale of zero to
infinity (with zero being rent-a-cop and infinity being God), is
determined by the equation: JA = 196,935,000 x (a/t). This is
the surface area of the earth in square miles, multiplied by the number
of threatening asteroids in space (a), divided by the time in days (t)
until impact.

Proof: With a single asteroid set to hit Earth in 18 days, the characters in the movie Armageddon
possess a deity-esque jurisdictional authority of 10.9 million. In
contrast, the Department of Homeland Security faces zero asteroids set
to hit Earth in zero days, nullifying its authority completely.

Ian Buruma at the New York Review of Books muses on Fassbinder’s "Berlin Alexanderplatz" and beyond.

And Sylvester Stallone is taking questions from the fanboy crowd at Ain’t It Cool News again. And yet, no screenings of "Rambo" for critics? Our heart, it is broken.

+ "Heart of Fire" added to Berlin lineup (Reuters)
+ Blissfully His (Village Voice)
+ Jerry Bruckheimer’s Laws of Science (Esquire)
+ The Genius of Berlin (New York Review of Books)
+ Stallone wants to hear more questions from you folks, cuz Heroes don’t die, they just Reload your Questions!!! (AICN)

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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