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We’ve been hearing great things about this “internet”…

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"You can't help them now, they're already dead!"
"Jackass 2.5," a feature film combining new footage and unreleased bits from "Jackass Number Two," will be presented free by Blockbuster from 12/19-12/31 here before being made available for purchase on DVD and on iTunes and other download outlets. "It’s the first broadband movie ever distributed by a major studio," Thomas Lesinski, President of Paramount Pictures Digital Entertainment, tells the AP. We’d be a bit more impressed with this show of faith in the future of distribution models if it were actually, you know, a new film, a la Edward Burns’ "Purple Violets," which last month garnered the distinctions of being the first full-length feature to premiere exclusively on iTunes and the umpteenth to find Burns chronicling the romantic malaises of emotionally immature New Yorkers.

More interesting web-premiere news: Variety reports that back-from-the-dead British production company Hammer Films will be producing its first feature in 30 years and… distributing it via MySpace. "Beyond the Rave" (heh) will be released in 20 free four-minute chunks on MySpace TV before being made available in its entirety for purchase. The plot provided to IMDb by screenwriter Tom Grass:

The movie follows the last hours of freedom of local soldier Ed, who is flying out to Iraq in the morning. With the help of his best friend Necro, he spends his last night in the UK tracking down his missing girlfriend Jen, last seen partying with a bizarre group of hardcore night-time ravers led by the mysterious Melech. But as he catches up with Jen at a party, Ed discovers that Melech’s crowd, who are hosting the event, are looking for more than a night of fun, and that not everyone will make it through to dawn.

Jude Law ex Sadie Frost (Lucy in "Bram Stoker’s Dracula") is part of the cast — here’s a teaser trailer. Here’s hoping for some sort of larger Iraq war/vampires/techno metaphor.

+ New `Jackass’ Movie to Hit Internet (AP)
+ Hammer comes back from dead (Variety)

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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