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DID YOU READ

Opening This Week: August 3rd, 2007

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By Christopher Bonet

IFC News

[Photo: Anne Hathaway in “Becoming Jane,” Miramax Films, 2007]

A round-up of the best (or worst) $10 you’ll spend this week.

“Becoming Jane”

Anne Hathaway gets all period piece on us and tries out her best British accent in this biographical tale of a pre-fame Jane Austen’s romance with a young Irishman, played by the ubiquitous James McAvoy (seriously, what hasn’t he been in recently?). “Kinky Boots” director Julian Jarrold helms the film; fellow Brits Julie Walters and Maggie Smith step in for supporting roles.

Opens in limited release (official site).

“The Bourne Ultimatum”

Three films in, our favorite amnesiac spy finally discovers the origins of his identity (and then some!) in the third (and final?) installment of the Jason Bourne trilogy. While “Ultimatum” is the final Bourne novel written by the late Robert Ludlum, a fourth and fifth entry were written by Eric Van Lustbader, continuing the Bourne storyline. We’ll see if “Ultimatum” remains Jason Bourne’s last film or whether he’s due for a return. “Supremacy”‘s Paul Greengrass is back to direct.

Opens wide (official site).

“Bratz”

After recently watching the trailer for this new teen film based on… dolls, we can only presume one thing: “Mean Girls” did it better. Much, much better. While we may not be in this film’s key demographic, we don’t think we can forgive the director (frequent Disney Channeler Sean McNamara) for including the word “Brattitude.”

Opens wide (official site).

“Cash”

Indian director Anubhav Sinha directs this Bollywood thriller about an ace con artist who hires a set of top notch robbers to steal some priceless diamonds in South Africa.

Opens in limited release (official site).

“El Cantante”

J.Lo hubby Marc Anthony portrays the enigmatic performer Hector Lavoe, the man who’s credited with introducing salsa music to the U.S. in the 1970s, in this biopic told mostly from the perspective of his wife Puchi (played by Lopez). Early reviews claim that the film suffers from music biopic clichés and poor directional decisions, but, seriously, what did everyone expect?

Opens wide (official site).

“Hot Rod”

Internet sensation and SNLer Andy Samberg stars as a self-proclaimed stuntman who plans to jump 50 school buses on a moped in order to win over his emotionally distant stepfather. While we have nothing against Samberg (we adored “Lazy Sunday”), “Hot Rod” does look like one of the weaker comedies of the summer. But, hey, we’re always ready to watch menacing character actor Ian McShane play for yuks.

Opens wide (official site).

“If I Didn’t Care”

Benjamin and Orson Cummings’ Hitchcockian thriller is set in the resort community of the Hamptons as a trophy husband’s attempts to produce an heir lead to infidelity, murder and tragic consequences. The film channels the noir style of the ’40s and ’50s and stars Bill Sage and Roy Scheider.

Opens in New York (official site).

“The Ten”

A morally flawed narrator oversees ten stories based on the Ten Commandments in this comedy from former “The State” member David Wain. Critics may complain that the film’s uneven narrative structure hurts the overall feel of the film, but that’s not going to stop diehard “The State” fans from seeing this. Plus, Winona Ryder has sex with a ventriloquist’s dummy. Who doesn’t want to see that?

Opens in New York and Los Angeles (official site).

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at IFC.com

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

Uncle-Buck

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…