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In the works: Ritchie returns.

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"Shine on you crazy diamond, because we're just monkeys wrapped in suits..."
New in the works: Remember "Revolver"? No, you don’t, you liar, you. Guy Ritchie‘s 2005 Kabbalah-laced gangster effort has yet to receive a US release, while distributors here wait for the mushroom cloud that was the film’s reception in the UK to disperse. Never fear; Ritchie’s has a cast lined up for his new one, entitled (wince) "RocknRolla": current It Man Gerard Butler will star alongside Thandie Newton, Ludacris and others. The film is, refreshingly, about a bunch of gangster with funny nicknames. [Hollywood Reporter]

Yeah, Brett Ratner is directing Hugh Hefner biopic "Playboy." The best part of the story? The project was initially conceived as a musical. [Variety] Meanwhile, Frank Miller will adapt the Raymond Chandler (♥!) novella "Trouble Is My Business," with Clive Owen set to star, and, yes, the combination of those last two elements made us squee out loud. [Variety]

David Strathairn will play the dad in Thomas and Charles Guard‘s "Tale of Two Sisters" remake. [Hollywood Reporter] Amy Adams is in talks to co-star with Meryl Streep and Philip Seymour Hoffman in the sure-to-be-awardsy play adaptation "Doubt." [Hollywood Reporter]

Julie Delpy has been preparing a biopic of the blood-bathing Hungarian Countess Erzsébet Báthory for ages, and is set to start shooting the project this fall, but Slovak director Juraj Jakubisko has just wrapped his own version, which stars British actress Anna Friel and which seems to be a kind of revisionist vision in which the countess was oppressed by the men in her life and also managed to bang Caravaggio. [Variety]

Acquired: Overture Films has picked up the rights to "Righteous Kill," the highly touted project set to star Robert De Niro and Al Pacino as detectives tracking a serial killer.  The two shared only one major scene (and one hand-holding moment) in "Heat" and no screen time at all in "Godfather II." 50 Cent is, funnily enough, in talks to co-star, and Jon Avnet (of "Fried Green Tomatoes") will direct. [Hollywood Reporter]

"The Last Winter," the latest from New York indie horror king Larry Fessenden, has been picked up by IFC First Take for a September release. Fessenden’s made a career of reinventing and reinvigorating horror tropes, and "The Last Winter," which premiered at Toronto last year, combines the arctic monster idea with ecological themes. [indieWIRE]

Sony Pictures has picked up "Outpost," a horror film about mercenaries who discover evidence of gruesome WWII experiments in an unstable Eastern European city, though whether it will get a theatrical release is unknown. "Hostel" meets "Dog Soldiers"? Hey, it stars Titus Pullo from "Rome."  [Variety]

Céline Sciamma‘s French teenage swimming pool drama "Water Lillies," which premiered as part of Un Certain Regard at Cannes in May, has been acquired for a theatrical release early next year from Koch Lorber. [indieWIRE]

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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