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In the works: Boden, Fleck and Bertolucci.

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Diving bell.
Cannes rundown: By our count, these are the big acquisitions from the competition, Un Certain Regard and Directors’ Fortnight:

IFC First Take:

"Flight of the Red Balloon" [Rainbow]
"4 Months, 3 Weeks & 2 Days" [Hollywood Reporter]
"Paranoid Park" [Variety]


"The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" [indieWIRE]

Roadside Attractions:

"Caramel" [Hollywood Reporter]


"We Own the Night" [Variety]


"My Brother Is an Only Child" [Variety]

Weinstein Company:

"Control" [Hollywood Reporter]

Acquired elsewhere: The Weinstein Company has picked up Woody Allen‘s latest, "Cassandra’s Dream," another London-set venture, this one starring Ewan McGregor and Colin Farrell as estranged but scruffily attractive brothers. [indieWIRE]

In the works: Bright young things Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck, the team behind "Half Nelson," will adapt "Special Topics in Calamity Physics," the bestselling book (and NY Times "10 Best" pick) by bright young thing Marisha Pessl (see how that works?). The story is somewhat young adult novelish, and we expect the resulting film to be blindingly dewy and precocious. [Hollywood Reporter]

Bernardo Bertolucci will direct a yet-untitled English-language drama about Gesualdo da Venosa, a 16th century Italian composer famous for murdering his wife and her lover. And possibly also his son. And possibly also his father-in-law. Bertolucci is writing the script with Mark Peploe, who worked with him on "The Last Emperor." [Variety]

John Woo (oh, break our heart again, why don’t you?) will be directing "Ninja Gold" for Fox Atomic  — he created the idea for the film with video game vet Warren Spector. The film will be about ninjas, er, fighting things. Possibly the yakuza? "’Ninja’ centers on a ninja warrior, part of a centuries-old legacy and bloodline, forced to confront the reality of covert warfare in the modern world." [Hollywood Reporter]

On the "look who’s making movies now" front, Reader’s Digest is one of three partners producing "Ace of Hearts," which is a Dean Cain-starring "movie based on a story published by Reader’s Digest about a policeman and his crime-fighting dog." [Variety] Meanwhile, Sony BMG Film, which has already produced two high profile musical-oriented docs (Asger Leth‘s "Ghosts of Cité Soleil" and Julien Temple‘s "Joe Strummer: The Future Is Unwritten"), will be having Darnell Martin (of "Their Eyes Were Watching God") direct "Cadillac Records," about the 1950s Chicago music world. [Variety]

On the remake front: That long-delayed remake of "The Women" now has a cast: Meg Ryan, Annette Bening, Eva Mendes, Jada Pinkett Smith, Debra Messing and Candice Bergen. The film will be Diane English‘s directorial debut. [Variety] And it turns out 1939 is the current go-to year for those in need of ideas: Reese Witherspoon will star in a remake of Claudette Colbert comedy "Midnight." "Little Miss Sunshine"‘s Michael Arndt wrote the script. [Variety] Wes Craven has found a director for the remake of his own directorial debut "The Last House on the Left," which is itself a sort-of remake of "The Virgin Spring." Greek director Dennis Iliadis, whose 2004 debut "Hardcore" was declared by Craven to be "so compelling and real," is the chosen one — Craven will produce. [Variety] And Stephen Fung‘s pop star-laden,  gay-themed Hong Kong action comedy "Enter the Phoenix" is also up for a US remake, though no director or stars are yet attached. [Variety]

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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