If we may pause for some obligatory whining — no Hou Hsiao-Hsien? No Todd Haynes? No Paul Thomas Anderson? We’re most surprised about the absence of Hou’s "The Red Balloon," which last we saw was set for a May release in France and so must, one would think, be finished. Four out of Hou’s last five films premiered at Cannes. Sometimes, we need to learn to read more carefully and not be in such a hurry — it’s in Un Certain Regard. Not quite like being in competition, but not so shabby.
Among the most exciting titles that are in competition are Akin’s narrative follow-up to his smashing 2004 bruise-eyed romance "Head-On"; the Coen brothers’ Cormac McCarthy adaptation; the latest provocation from Breillat (this one features Asia Argento, which seems an appropriate pairing); the new Reygadas; the new Sokourov; the new Tarr (starring Tilda Swinton!); and who isn’t curious about what Tarantino’s done to flesh out "Death Proof"? And of course there’s "My Blueberry Nights" — what will Wong Kar Wai’s America look like?
We won’t be going to Cannes this year, but the Cannes Cam will be returning on IFC.com, so it’ll be just like being there. Sans actual filmgoing.
The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.
But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)
It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.
A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.
This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.
The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.
It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.
Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at IFC.com
Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.
Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.
Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk
Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.
Lane 33: Twins
You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.
Lane 27: Broken Windows
Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.
Lane 69: Filthy Cars
You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.
Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles
It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.
Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.