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DID YOU READ

Odds: Thursday – No willy stuff.

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"Years and years must have gone into this mustache."December remnant quote of the day: Ewan McGregor addresses his "Miss Potter" "The Tourist" nudity, via Josh Horowitz at MTV:

I don’t think there’s any willy stuff, but there’s certainly bum stuff
in it. It’s funny over here. You’re quite safe from penis shots in
America because American people don’t have penises, so you can’t see
them in film. Whereas in Britain you can see your penis in film. [He
laughs.] So since it’s an American picture, it’s just a bum you see.

Trailers: At long last, one for "Idiocracy," here. And one for Philip Gröning‘s Carthusian monk documentary "Into Great Silence" here, though if ever a film seems like it would be poorly served by the trailer format, it’s that one.

Dade Hayes in Variety notes that 2006’s "Zyzzyx Road" set the record for lowest box office return since the beginning of modern record-keeping in the 80s. The film, which stars Tom Sizemore (hah) and Katherine Heigl, pulled in a fat $30 when in opened in a Dallas theater back in February.

Among the first Berlin competition films announced is Park Chan-wook‘s "I’m A Cyborg But That’s Ok," which will make its world premiere at the festival.

Andrew Willis at the Globe and Mail reports on how Canada’s Cineplex chain is attempting to save itself from diminishing box office returns with alternative programming.

The doors swing open tonight at 25 Cineplex theatres for a live, big-screen showing of the Maple Leaf’s tilt with the Boston Bruins, one of 48 National Hockey League games that Cineplex will broadcast live in five Canadian cities this season. The hockey screenings, which began with Vancouver Canucks screenings for B.C. fans four years ago and are now done with every Canadian NHL team except the Montreal Canadiens, are all part of an expanding menu of movie alternatives at Canada’s largest theatre chain.

And over at the Guardian, Garrison Keillor offers one last elegy to Robert Altman:

When the movie wrapped, Altman retired to his editing room on West 56th Street in New York, and a month later he called everybody to come see the rough cut. He loved sitting in that little screening room in the West Village and watching the thing over and over with other people. When he was working, he was in heaven. He had figured out how to live without regrets. Each time he saw the movie, he saw it new and fresh.

+ Oscar File: Ewan McGregor And His Mustache Steal Show In ‘Miss Potter’ (MTV)
+ Trailer: Idiocracy (Amazon)
+ Trailer: Into Great Silence (Zeitgeist Films)
+ ‘Zyzzyxx’ earns lowest all-time box office (Variety)
+ First Competition Films Confirmed: Modern History and Great Stars (Berlinale.de)
+ Sports fan munchies fatten Cineplex’s bottom line (Globe and Mail)
+ The last picture show
(Guardian)

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at IFC.com

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

Uncle-Buck

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…