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Odds: Wednesday – Nigel Kneale, angry Baldwin.

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"Nobody ever wins a cold war."
Screenwriter Nigel Kneale, best know for creating and writing the Quatermass films, died at the age of 84.  "The Quatermass Xperiment" made us weep in terror when we saw it on TV at an impressionable age (as did, embarrassingly, "Pinocchio"). "Nobody ever wins a cold war." Via BBC News.

According to The Australian, the European Centre for Antiziganism Research (a human rights group campaigning for gypsies) has filed a slander complaint in Germany against Sacha Baron Cohen:

Twentieth Century Fox, the film’s distributor in Germany, pulled television commercials and internet advertising that featured tongue-in-cheek talks of running over "gypsies" with a Hummer military vehicle after complaints by the group.

Not to sound cynical, but how serendipitously well-timed!

Via Borys Kit at the Hollywood Reporter, Larry and Andy Wachowski will indeed write and direct a live-action "Speed Racer":

"They are approaching these racing scenes in a way you’ve never seen before," said Silver, adding that the brothers are designing the movie’s look as they write. Silver also said that unlike the more adult-oriented material of the Wachowskis’ past — "Vendetta," the "Matrix" movies and "Bound" were all rated R — "Speed" will be family-friendly.

According to Empire, directors Bong Joon-Ho (of "The Host") and Park Chan-Wook (of "Oldboy" and the like) will be working together on a film — Park will produce "La Transperceneige," which Bong is set to direct:

It’s adapted from a French graphic novel by Jacques Lob and Jean-Marc Rochette, which chronicles the world of a train that serves as the last refuge for a depleted human race. As it dashes from an impending ice age, the carriages represent a microcosm of human society within their different classes.

The film is apparently going to be in English. And, speaking of, Bruce Wallace at the LA Times has an interview with Bong, in town for AFI Fest. This is the most ridiculous line ever:

Korean critics loved the mix of frights and humor. But the film will land in the United States at a highly charged moment, when most Americans absorbing news of the nuclear crisis from the Korean peninsula expect to see North Koreans, not themselves, cast as the bad guy.

Argh! But Bong is gracious:

"The movie makes many comments on the U.S. presence in Korea, but I think U.S. audiences will actually enjoy it," he said. "After all, my movie is just entertainment, fun. It’s about a monster. And the political message is very soft, especially compared to your own movies like ‘Fahrenheit 9/11.’ Americans who have seen that will not be shocked at my movie."

Also at the LA Times, Rachel Abramowitz previews the rest of the fest, which kicks off today.

Over at the Huffington Post, Alec Baldwin explains why he ankled his role as narrator of "Running with Arnold," a doc about the political ascension of Arnold Schwarzenegger:

I am certainly not a supporter of Arnold Schwarzenegger. I think he was unqualified for his current job when he ran in the bogus recall election. I believe he is unqualified for that job today. As dull as Phil Angelides‘ campaign has been, I believe that he would better represent the interests of more Californians than Schwarzenegger could ever hope to. Schwarzenegger is not a leader. Like Bush, he is a front man for a group of powerful interests and he is reading from a script. The filmmakers hammer Schwarzenegger over his private behavior and his record as governor. But Schwarzenegger deserves to be treated fairly and the film’s images of Nazi rallies were over the line.

At the Guardian‘s Film Blog, Ryan Gilbey writes about the possibilities of the ex-director’s cut, a la Richard Donner‘s take on "Superman II" and Paul Schrader‘s "Dominion: Prequel to the Exorcist."

And over at Wired, Steve Silberman gives Darren Aronofsky the generous feature profile:

Like Burstyn‘s skittering hallucinations in Requiem, The Fountain‘s most haunting images linger in the mind long after the credits roll. When Tomas reaches toward the tree of life, golden filaments bristle and rise to meet his fingers. At the film’s climax, Tom and his bubble are blown through galactic clouds and pillars of dark matter that look like nothing else in science fiction. By bucking the conventions of CGI and using an ingenious application of microphotography to simulate space, Aronofsky has given the scenes in the nebula a handwrought quality that evokes the luminous etchings of William Blake.

+ Quatermass creator dies, aged 84 (BBC)
+ Borat accused of slander (The Australian)
+ Wachowskis fuel ‘Speed Racer’ (HR)
+ The Host And Oldboy Directors Team Up (Empire)
+ Who’s the monster? (LA Times)
+ It’s in L.A., but all the world is this fest’s stage (LA Times)
+ True Lies: Filmmakers Go Too Far in Attack Against Schwarzenegger (Huffington Post)
+ The ex-director’s cut (Guardian Film Blog)
+ The Outsider (Wired)

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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