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"Thanks for telling him I'm your father."
One of the side effects of reading dozens and dozens of A&E sections from around the world is that stories that are given doubtless reasonable coverage when looked at by region tend to kaleidoscope out into something delirious and painful. No one human being was ever meant to read so many Oliver Stone interviews in one sitting!

Elsewhere, one starts looking for causalities and connections. Take Dave Carr‘s piece in the New York Times on how journalists on film "have been largely depicted as moral and ethical eunuchs." Had he read Paul Farhi‘s article in the Washington Post a few weeks ago claiming "newspaper people usually get the hero treatment in movies and TV shows"? The two have the same starting reference  — "Scoop" — but move on to other titles to back up their respective differing points. The whole thing will surely prove fascinating to the seven or eight people who actually saw "Scoop." More interesting is David Thomson‘s slightly windbaggy look at famous screen drunks in the Independent, which we’ve also seen similar versions of before, but which is particularly relevant now that everyone’s had the opportunity to stand witness to such a spectacular, alcohol-fueled career implosion.

Just one last thing – one for the road, old man – don’t think this story is told for sympathy. Don’t think there’s an explanation to it all. No, it’s just the weird compensation when you’ve had the misfortune to be someone everyone else thought they wanted to be. Actors dread that they are empty vessels, no matter that they bring imaginary people to life. So they need to fill their emptiness up. And if you like acting, leave well enough alone. Don’t think to cure them – they can turn ugly.

David M. Halbfinger in the New York Times reports that, despite considerable media coverage, Stone’s "World Trade Center" only made $19 million its opening weekend. This still "far exceeded the opening weekend of last spring’s ‘United 93,’" unless you look at per screen averages, in which case they did exactly the same, with "WTC" costing lots more.

And back to fucking "Snakes on a Plane," we’re actually quite pleased to see Ty Burr at the Boston Globe do one better than our own cry of "What would Susan Sontag do?" and put together an article on the film that has quotes from "Notes on Camp" scattered throughout. At the London Times, Kevin Maher conflates "SoaP" with "the cancer of fan-journalism," disregard of traditional film critics and the movement away from press screenings in a few bilious paragraphs that don’t make so much sense (quite a few issues there). Ah, at least he didn’t throw bloggers into the mix. Bless.

One gambling site is offering odds on how many times Samuel L. Jackson will say "motherfucker" in the film. Blatant publicity grubbing, yes…and hey, it’s working.

+ Reporters on Film: Drunks and Tarts
(NY Times)
+ It Pays to Be a Print Journalist — in Films (Washington Post)
+ I’d like to thank my bartender: Soaks of the silver screen (Independent)
+ Oliver Stone’s ‘World Trade Center’ Opens at No. 3 (NY Times)
+ Camptastic! (Boston Globe)
+ Snakes on a gravy train (London Times)

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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