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DID YOU READ

In recovery.

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"I can't afford to hate people. I don't have that kind of time."
"I have always believed in full disclosure. When I announced that I had a recurrence of salivary cancer that required surgery, I had no idea when I went into the hospital on June 16 that I would still be here on August 16." So writes Roger Ebert, who goes on to share details of his surgery and recovery on his website.

Also in recovery is sound mixer and filmmaker Dwayne Buckle, who was stabbed with a steak knife by a group of angry young New Jersey women in front of what was, contrary to what Cara Buckley and Kate Hammer report in the New York Times, actually the IFC Center.

Mr. Buckle was trying to decide whether to get a drink or go home when, he said, a petite young woman in a white skirt passed by, surrounded by girlfriends. He did not know any of the young women, but he liked how the woman in white wore her hair. He also liked the woman. And so he said, “Hey, how’re you doing?” The woman gave a half-smile and kept going. But one of her friends, Mr. Buckle said, shot back a caustic remark. She made fun of his jeans, he said, and ridiculed his sneakers.

"She said they were cheap," Mr. Buckle recalled yesterday afternoon, still groggy during an interview from his hospital bed.

After hearing about the incident but before learning the details of Mr. Buckle’s unfortunate encounter with a serrated blade, we had wondered if anyone could have possibly come storming out in a fury after the Center’s controversial weekend screenings of…Kurosawa’s "Ikiru"? Though the above story hardly seems more reasonable. The moral is: Never say hi to anyone, ever.

Finally, via WENN, also presumably resting up is Jared Leto, who has gout. You’re totally going to hell for laughing at that, and we will see you there. Apparently, after gaining 62 pounds to play John Lennon assassin Mark David Chapman, in "Chapter 27," Leto  attempted to lose it all quickly for a subsequent role and made himself ill.

+ E-mail from Roger (RogerEbert.com)
+ Man Is Stabbed in Attack After Admiring a Stranger (NY Times)
+ Leto Diagnosed With Gout (WENN)

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at IFC.com

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

Uncle-Buck

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…