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No love for Luc.

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"I'm a six-foot slut inside!"
Luc Besson‘s first directorial effort in seven years — since 1999’s much-maligned "The Messenger" — is the black and white "Angel-A," which he secretly shot in time off from what’s become his main occupation, producing a bewildering scattering of occasionally lucrative international titles. It’s also, despite considerable anticipation among his fans, apparently no "Léon" (or even "The Big Blue"); the film opened and was reviewed in the UK on Friday…what is the word we’re looking for? Withering?

Peter Bradshaw at the Guardian:

Wings of Desire it ain’t, and this picture fails to convince on any of the levels on which it presents itself.

Tim Robey at the Telegraph:

Luc Besson, what are you on?

Demetrios Matheou at the Independent:

Side by side [stars Jamel Debbouze and Rie Rasmussen] make an extraordinary spectacle, reminiscent of the pairing of the mountainous Jean Reno and Natalie Portman in Leon. Such beauty-and-the-beast romanticism is a common element of Besson’s cinema, one that wore thin long ago. Rasmussen is a dead ringer for Besson’s former wife and screen muse, Milla Jovovich, which just underlines the dearth of imagination.

Philip French at the Observer:

It’s a soggy affair, short on laughs and lacking chemistry between hero and heroine.

James Christopher at the Times:

The make-believe is painful. The plot is dire. The sentiment is awful. What’s interesting is Besson’s aesthetic commitment to old-fashioned melodrama: café arguments, cigarettes, empty streets and biscuit-tin views of the Seine.

Besson’s next project is "Arthur and the Minimoys," based on a children’s book he wrote himself — which has worked out blissfully well for others lately, and he told Xan Brooks in the Guardian a few weeks ago that he was done with film-making after that. Of course, he then exclaims "Maybe in two years I will do another movie after all." Indeed.

+ Angel-A (Guardian)
+ Angel-A (15 cert, 88 min) (Telegraph)
+ Angel-A (15) (Independent)
+ Angel-A (Observer)
+ Angel-A (London Times)
+ The Long Goodbye (Guardian)

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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