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Odds: Tuesday – Uwe Boll, Justin Lin, Tim Burton’s “Sweeney Todd.”

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"When does ANY party start? When you get there!"
We hate ourselves for posting this, but we wouldn’t be where we are today (sitting behind a computer for hours and hours and hours at a time) without a little self-loathing: Harry Knowles at Ain’t It Cool reports that everyone’s favorite terrible (and technically indie) director, Uwe Boll, is preparing to take on his harshest critics in the ring as part of his latest film, "Postal":

Towards the end of the filming of Postal, the five most outspoken critics will be flown into Vancouver and supplied with hotel rooms. As a guest of Uwe Boll they will be given the chance to be an extra/stand-in in Postal and have the opportunity to put on boxing gloves and enter a BOXING RING to fight Uwe Boll. Each critic will have the opportunity to bring down Uwe in a 10-bout match. There will be five matches planned over the last two days of the movie. Certain scenes from these boxing matches will become part of the Postal movie. All five fights will be televised on the Internet and will be covered by international press.

To be eligible you must be a critic who has posted on the Internet or have written in magazines/newspapers at least two extremely negative articles in the year 2005. Critics of 2006 will not be considered.

Elsewhere, who knew the director of "The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift" was Justin Lin? Ah, we remember when "Better Luck Tomorrow" came out and carried the promise that maybe there could be a mainstream Asian American film not about fighting with one’s parents over not being a doctor or dating a white guy. Jeff Yang at SF Gate interviews him:

"And I said, ‘I think it’s offensive and dated, and I
don’t have any intention of doing it.’ But Stacey [Snider], the head of
the studio, said, ‘Just tell us what you’d do differently.’ So I said,
‘To begin with, I’d get rid of all the gongs and temples and Buddhas
and the visual gags about how the white guy is a foot taller than all
the Asians.’ And she said, ‘OK, we’ll make the kind of movie you want.’
I was like, ‘Uh, are you sure?’

Er, way to keep it real, Justin…yeah!

Via the Hollywood Reporter, the planned adaptation of the Stephen Sondheim Broadway musical "Sweeney Todd" is being fast-tracked, with Tim Burton set to direct and Johnny Depp in talks for the lead role.

In the Observer, Sean O’Hagan interviews Cillian Murphy‘s Cannes-worthy cheekbones.

On the occasion of "Beyond the Valley of the Doll"‘s arrival on DVD, Roger Ebert reprints "observations written for Film Comment magazine on the occasion of the movie’s 10th anniversary in 1980."

Now that we’re halfway through 2006, the Reverse Shot crew offers up their top ten of the year thus far as a challenge to all those who’ve been moaning about the "dearth of worthwhile cinema thus far."

Via BBC, Eminem is set to star in a film remake of the 50s Western TV series "Have Gun – Will Travel." It’s still in development, but it will be present-day, so probably no cowboy hat.

In the LA Times, Patrick Goldstein writes about Mercedes Maharis’ "Cochise County, USA: Cries From the Border":

Though it has never received a theatrical release, Maharis’ film,  has found a growing audience on the home-video front, having already sold close to 20,000 copies, an impressive tally for a documentary by an unknown filmmaker.

What’s especially startling about the film is that its filmmaker doesn’t fit any of our neat cultural preconceptions. To put it bluntly, Maharis is no liberal-baiting Ann Coulter. She spent much of her life in Santa Monica, where she worked as a volunteer in a homeless shelter, studied meditation, worked in interior design and ran a video firm that produced educational films. She has a master of arts in Latin American studies and has been a longtime advocate of prisoners’ rights.

And at the Japan Times, Kaori Shoji has a short interview with Andy Lau, the director of "Infernal Affairs" and upcoming Ricahrd Gere film "The Flock," about how he ended up directing Amsterdam-set Korean love story "Daisy."

+ Do you wanna go POSTAL on Uwe Boll? (AICN)
+ ASIAN POP: Switching Gears (SF Gate)
+ Burton goes from Ripley to ‘Sweeney’ (HR)
+ ‘I just want to challenge myself with each role’ (Observer)
+ Beyond The Valley of the Dolls (
+ 2006 Half-Time: A Sidelong Glance (indieWIRE)
+ Eminem ‘to star as bounty hunter’ (BBC)
+ Border crossing (LA Times)
+ He’s moving on up (Japan Times)

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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