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Odds: Tuesday – Keep the Wicker Man waiting. Also, “Mulan.”

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"The Wicker Man": Now with bee beards.
Maybe we were the only ones intrigued by Neil LaBute‘s "Wicker Man" remake. Well, color us sorry we ever said anything — trailer’s here.

We’d never expect it to manage the serendipitous tonal weirdness that made Robin Hardy‘s original so memorable, but (and it could just be a lousy trailer) this look like a flabbily standard horror film. And it looks like they’ve saddled Nicolas Cage‘s character with a lame traumatic back-story. And…when will we get over this uncontrollable urge we have to punch Cage in the face whenever he appears onscreen?

"Wolf" at Twitch uncovers this (French) teaser for Luc Besson‘s kiddy flick (based on his own books) "Arthur and the Minimoys," which features characters appearing to be the computer-animated spawn of Elfquest and Troll dolls. Yes, we were frightened too. But the film (which will be released in the US by the Weinstein Company) has a planned English language cast that includes David Bowie (!), Snoop Dogg, Mia Farrow and Madonna (!!).

CRI reports that, despite rumors that Ang Lee was looking to cast Zhang Ziyi in his new project "Lust, Caution," she’s apparently been dismissed as too old and too famous for the role, and Lee is now considering Taiwanese TV host Barbie Xu. Ge You‘s been confirmed to play the lead. And what does Zhang care? As has been widely reported today, the Weinstein Company’s like, bought her. She’s in final talks to star in three films for the brothers W, the first being a live-action version of "Mulan," followed by that remake of "The Seven Samurai."

Mark Kermode
at the Guardian speculates that the day of real sex on-screen (for art’s sake, not for anyone’s enjoyment) is upon us. Ah, arty porn. Or, as we’ve cleverly dubbed it, Artorn. Er, Pornema. Yeah, we’ll get back to you on that.

Whether all this is a good thing is a matter of debate. I find that whenever hard-core imagery rears its head within narrative cinema, the fictional world of the film is momentarily destroyed. Suddenly, I don’t see the characters interacting in a manner that serves the plot. Instead, I see actors doing something other than ‘acting’, and start to wonder what they thought about on their way to work that morning (or what they’ll talk about when they get home that evening).

Via WENN, Rwandan president Paul Kagame calls "Hotel Rwanda"‘s portrayal of Paul Rusesabagina inaccurate: "It has nothing to do with Rusesabagina. He just happened to be there accidentally, and he happened to be surviving because he was not in the category of those being hunted. Someone is trying to rewrite the history of Rwanda and we cannot accept it."

Roger Ebert on "Chimes at Midnight":

There was not something Falstaffian about [Orson] Welles, there was everything. As a young man he conquered all that came before him (at Shrewsbury a knight meekly surrenders to the old man, awed by his leftover reputation). Welles grew fat and in debt, took jobs unworthy of him, was trailed by sycophants and leeches, yet was loved by good women and honored by those who could see him clearly.

+ Trailer: The Wicker Man (Apple)
+ Luc Besson’s Arthur and the Minimoys Teaser (Twitch)
+ Barbie Xu May Replace Zhang Ziyi in Ang Lee’s "Lust, Caution" (CRI)
+ Ziyi Zhang is the Live-Action Mulan (Coming Soon)
+ Has porn entered mainstream cinema for good? (Guardian)
+ ‘Hotel Rwanda’ Is "Inaccurate" Says President (WENN)
+ Chimes at Midnight (1965) (

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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