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DID YOU READ

The critics’ gig.

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No review for you.
It’s April, and a little early to cast about for annual trends, but if last year was the year of the Box Office Slump, this year is well on its way to being the year in which the Critics Were Cast Out. 11 films so far, including two this past weekend, "The Benchwarmers" and "Phat Girlz," and it’s beginning to seem like what used to be the kiss (off) of death — not daring or bothering to offer advance screenings of a film for critics — apparently doesn’t matter much to anyone anymore, as few of the film in question are having much trouble finding decent box office biz, at least for the opening weekend. It’s like when you’re just out of college and being part of a threesome seemed all wacky and hip, but gradually you realize that you have less and less in common with Audience these days (and to be honest, you never got Studios to begin with) and then Audience and Studios are spending an awful lot of time together, and suddenly they’re talking about getting a one-bedroom together, just the two of them, and Audience hugs you and says "no hard feelings, we’ll totally all still hang out, right?" and wonders if maybe you should start dressing more your age.

And where is this metaphor going again? Ah, yes, to the Orlando Sentinel‘s Roger Moore, who, at his blog Frankly My Dear…, details how he was accidentally not uninvited to an advance screening of "The Benchwarmers," and who wrote a nasty review that was also the only one out there; it was carried by Knight-Ridder papers across the country. At which point Sony starts with the outcry:

And with the calls from Sony, come the lies. The review is "bogus," they tell one editor. "Unauthorized." That I "disguised" myself to get in (a roped-off row for "press" is not exactly incognito) to another. That KRT subscribing papers have to "pay" extra to run the review.

Incidentally, in his late review of "Phat Girlz" at the Boston Globe, Wesley Morris writes that:

When movie studios refuse to show films to the press before opening day, it usually means they stink. In the case of ”Phat Girlz," which wasn’t screened for critics, I’m convinced it’s because the studio didn’t see the movie.

This is a disarming and, in its own way, delightful vehicle for its star and executive producer, the comedian and actress Mo’Nique. Who could hate this movie?

Who knows? This could spawn a near-future era of antagonistic, espionage-based reviewing, in which critics sport fake mustaches and trench coats and creep into screenings of "Big Stan," only to be bounced back out onto the sidewalk in a tumble of tweed and brittle bones by sharp-eyed, ‘roided-out publicists: "Damn you, Sarris, we said WE’RE NOT SCREENING FOR CRITICS!"

In the LA Times, Mark Olsen interviews Phillip Lopate, who recently edited "American Movie Critics: An Anthology From the Silents Until Now":

The question we’re sort of dancing around is this: Does film criticism matter?

If you’re a writer, as I am, you may feel it’s great to have this interesting, distinguished prose being generated. As a reader, I try to situate film criticism as a part of American letters.

I want to dodge your question by giving two answers. If film criticism no longer matters as much, I hope this anthology will be seen as a valuable tribute to what once mattered terrifically. If film criticism continues to matter, let it spur on future film critics.

Lopate will be at REDCAT in LA on Thursday, on a panel with Manohla Dargis, Richard Schickel and Kenneth Turan.

At RogerEbert.com, Lisa Nesselson of Variety responds to friend’s request for pithy advice for the would-be critic in a way that’s frank, funny but far from pithy.

In closing, I’d say the privilege of being a critic really kicks in when I get to write "the Variety review" of an important film and I feel like I really, truly, am the "right" person for the job. I’m enormously proud of my reviews of "Bowling for Columbine" and "Irreversible" (both written on tight deadlines in the pressure cooker of Cannes) and I’ve been told that my review of "Memento" has helped other people understand the film.

But I have colleagues who just crank out copy, figure one word is as good as another and everything they write will be glanced at at best and then discarded, so why knock yourself out? Variety always wants to know what’s "hot" (a word I would retire, if I had the power…). But why would anybody who aspires to make movies or act in them for the long haul ever want to be "hot?"

In his introduction to the debut issue of Undercurrent, the new magazine just launched by the International Federation of Film Critics, editor Chris Fujiwara writes that

Film criticism, at least in English, seems often in the position of
apologizing for its own existence, pretending to be something else, or
wishing it were something else. Undercurrent wants to be a place where
film criticism can dispense with alibis.

Honestly, while what we’ve looked over so far on the site is admirable, we don’t think this particular form of dense, academic-influenced criticism has ever been in danger — the small but impassioned crowd that would read a near shot-by-shot analysis of "The Wayward Cloud" isn’t going anywhere. It’s the great, more personal and more populist writing in papers that you come back to, week to week, that we do worry about.

+ The movie Sony re-HEALLY doesn’t want critics to see (Orlando Sentinel)
+ In ‘Phat Girlz,’ empowerment is entertaining (Boston Globe)
+ Sort of a critics’ revue (LA Times)
+ Advice to a Would-Be Film Critic (RogerEbert.com)
+ #1 4.2006 (Undercurrent)

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at IFC.com

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

Uncle-Buck

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…