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Odds: Thursday – “Crash” goes small screen, and the death of sexy cinema.

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WENN reports that "Crash" is being adapted into the TV series we all knew it could be:

The film’s producer Cathy Schulman says, "I hope it will air in the next year.

"The actors from the film will show up. Don Cheadle is a producer and will also be on at least a few episodes.

"We’ll see about everyone else."

We’re really looking forward to the episode where Sandra Bullock becomes addicted to caffeine pills and has a breakdown. And also the episode where Jennifer Esposito turns out not to have been dead, but actually in a coma, and she returns just in time (if a little crazy) to stop Ludacris‘ marriage to Thandie Newton. And also the episode where Matt Dillon waterski-jumps over a shark, but only after first molesting the shark and then saving it from a car wreck.

Via Coming Soon, "Bend It Like Beckham"‘s Gurinder Chadha is in talks to direct the feature adaptation of "Dallas," now that Robert Luketic has dropped out.

In the Guardian, Chris McGreal talks to the new Palestinian culture minister, Attallah Abu al-Sibbah:

The Gaza strip’s three big cinemas closed at the beginning of the first intifada in 1987, and never reopened. Mr Sibbah thinks they should start showing films again but he is concerned about what the viewers will see.

"I would open cinemas. It could be an education and help people live better. Hollywood is not all bad. ‘Titanic’ was a good film, a human film," he said, apparently having cast from his mind the scenes of Kate Winslet disrobed.

But he is less sure about the Oscar-nominated Palestinian film, "Paradise Now," which shows the preparation of suicide bombers for an attack on Israelis.

The film’s questioning of suicide attacks does not sit well with a party that glorifies such deaths.

"There are problems, there are some scenes, some observations, some pictures. We can negotiate. I will see it first. If I need to cut it I will cut. This is normal. Every country has censors. But we have no problem showing it," he said.

Also in the Guardian, Sophie Heawood talks to psychoanalyst Caroline Kipling about "Basic Instinct 2," while in Entertainment Weekly, Owen Gleiberman weighs in on what the film’s box office (and critical, but really, was that a surprise?) failure means for sex in cinema:

Even art cinema, that last holdout, has mostly given up the ghost. In the ’60s and ’70s, the films of Europe blazed a powerful sexual trail. Today, the austere parables of artists like Abbas Kiarostami or the Dardenne brothers are praised for their ”purity,” almost as if these lofty visions would be compromised by a little dirty pleasure. It’s almost hard to remember the way that filmmakers like Federico Fellini, with his hedonistic reveries in "La Dolce Vita" or "Satyricon," or Ingmar Bergman, with his outrageously gorgeous and sensual actresses (Bibi Andersson, Liv Ullmann), or Bernardo Bertolucci, with the earthquake that was "Last Tango in Paris," reveled in the ferment of the erotic. What seemed, back then, like a revolution looks more and more like an endgame: the last tango for sex in cinema.

So what about Carlos Reygadas and Catherine Breillat, who go places Fellini never did (or, likely, felt the need to) while also seeming hellbent on dissuading audience members from ever wanting to have sex again? That’s not a rhetorical question, we’re curious as to where others see the new Distasteful Sex Cinema fitting in to all of this.

In the San Francisco Bay Guardian, Johnny Ray Huston offers up former mayoral candidate Matt Gonzalez interviewing filmmaker Stanley Nelson about his new doc "Jonestown: The Life and Death of Peoples Temple."

And at Slate, staffers Michael Agger, Dahlia Lithwick, Meghan O’Rourke, and June Thomas discuss the "United 93" trailer, whether it’s inappropriate, and whether it’s too soon.

+ Crash coming to the small screen (WENN)
+ Gurinder Chadha to Direct Dallas (
+ Bellydancing out, cinema in, says Hamas (Guardian)
+ Another view (Guardian)
+ The Naked Truth (Entertainment Weekly)
+ 28 years later (San Francisco Bay Guardian)
+ United 93 (Slate)

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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