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My baloney has a first name.

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Ladies and gentlemen, your 2006 Academy Award nominees.We’ve said it before, we’ll say it again: that name is O-S-C-A-R.

Forgive us while we have a David Foster Wallace moment: here are the list of nominees, annotated.

Best Picture (1)
"Brokeback Mountain"
"Good Night, and Good Luck"

Best Director
George Clooney
Paul Haggis (2)
Ang Lee
Bennett Miller
Steven Spielberg

Best Actress
Judi Dench, "Mrs. Henderson Presents" (3)
Felicity Huffman, "Transamerica"
Keira Knightley, "Pride & Prejudice"
Charlize Theron, "North Country"
Reese Witherspoon, "Walk the Line"

Best Actor
Philip Seymour Hoffman, "Capote"
Terrence Howard, "Hustle & Flow"
Heath Ledger, "Brokeback Mountain" (4)
Joaquin Phoenix, "Walk the Line"
David Strathairn, "Good Night, and Good Luck"

Best Supporting Actress
Amy Adams, "Junebug"
Catherine Keener, "Capote" (5)
Frances McDormand, "North Country"
Rachel Weisz, "The Constant Gardner"
Michelle Williams, "Brokeback Mountain"

Best Supporting Actor
George Clooney, "Syriana"
Matt Dillon, "Crash"
Paul Giamatti, "Cinderella Man"
Jake Gyllenhaal, "Brokeback Mountain" (6)
William Hurt, "A History of Violence"

Best Original Screenplay
"Good Night, and Good Luck"
"Match Point"
"The Squid and the Whale"

Adapted Screenplay
"Brokeback Mountain"
"The Constant Gardener"
"A History of Violence"

Best Foreign Film (7)
"Don’t Tell"
"Joyeux Noël (Merry Christmas)"
"Paradise Now"
"Sophie Scholl – The Final Days"

Best Documentary
"Darwin’s Nightmare"
"Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room"
"March of the Penguins"
"Murderball" (8)
"Street Fight"

Best Animated Film (9)
"Howl’s Moving Castle"
"Corpse Bride"
"Wallace & Gromit – Curse of the Were-Rabbit"

1. Eh. Nothing surprising, though we were still hoping in our heart of hearts that "A History of Violence" might make pull through. All "issue" films, more or less — even "Capote" is less a traditional biopic than an examination of an artist’s responsibility/ruthlessness.

2. We’ll be sick to our stomach if he wins. We also do drink a lot, so that might happen regardless.

3. Yes, yes, everyone adores the Dame, but how many charming curmudgeons can one human being get feted for playing in a lifetime? Also, no "Geisha" Zhang Ziyi, despite all of Sony Pictures’ cries about how it’s totally harder to frantically emote when one has no idea what one is fumbling, phonetically, to say. Praise Jesus!

4. Everyone’s writing Ledger off after the SAG award also went to Hoffman, but we’re keeping the faith. So hot! So repressed! Also, Howard bumped Jeff Daniels? Eh.

5. Wouldn’t everyone rather see her get the nod for "The 40-Year-Old Virgin"? And, incidentally, how straight-faced an awards year is this, when a heartrending portrait of divorce is the closest to comedy we get?

6. Remember when Samuel L. Jackson played that "supporting role" in "Pulp Fiction"? Wasn’t that silly? Yeah…

7. Bah! We did see "Tsotsi" last night, which was very good, if very much the type of film that wins this category, and we’re going to go out on a limb and suggest that it or "Sophie Scholl" will hold out over "Paradise Now," simply to continue the Academy’s tradition of rendering this award, like Best Documentary, completely unsatisfying.

8. Attack of the "Mother Teresa school of filmmaking"? Though "Murderball" was fine and all, and we’re far happier to see it up there than "The Boys of Baraka," which is indisputably of the MTSoF. We’d really love to see "Darwin’s Nightmare" win this one, but who are we kidding?

9. Good stuff.

+ 78th Annual Academy Awards: Nominees (

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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