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DID YOU READ

Counter-programming: “Election.”

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"We all have traditions to follow."It’s one of the fondest conceits in pop mythology that organized crime has as formalized a structure and is as steeped in tradition as the clergy — that there’s not just honor among thieves, but ritual as well. Inherent to this theme is the assumption that these old structures are, like the Spanish Empire, eternally in decline, constantly threatened by a young, soulless new guard that doesn’t care about brotherhood or loyalty, and doesn’t understand what it really means to be a gangster, or yakuza, or conperson, or, in the case of Johnny To‘s lean, fleetfooted "Election," triad member.

To’s film is concerned with the Wo Sing society, the oldest triad in Hong Kong, during their biennial election of a new chairman. The candidates are Simon Yam‘s unflappable, competent Lok, and Tony Leung Ka Fai‘s volatile, flamboyant Big D. Big D’s been bribing various senior triad members, but Lok has the respect of the godfatherly Uncle Teng (Wang Tian-lin), and as the elders drink tea and argue in a shadowy restaurant back room, we know that Lok will win out.

Except…Big D wants a recount, or such. He has his men kidnap two of the uncles who took his bribes and didn’t vote for him, boards them up into crates and rolls them over and over down a hill while announcing to Lok on the phone that he’s going to start his own triad, the New Wo Sing. It’s tantamount to a war declaration, but to hedge his bets, Big D sends some of his men to intercept the Dragon Head Baton, the old symbol of Wo Sing leadership, which is being transported from the Chinese mainland for the triad’s handover of power.

Much of the tension that runs throughout "Election" like the film’s omnipresent, lithe guitar theme comes from the amount of damage Big D’s petulance could inflict — no one wants to go to war. It would destroy their business and the symbiotic relationship they have with the police, who, knowing they can’t possible take down the deeply entrenched triads, are willing, to an extent, to look the other way as long as everything runs smoothly. They’d all go down together — and so some of the elders seem willing to support Big D, despite what it would mean for Wo Sing’s century of democratic tradition and for their own pride, simply to avoid trouble. "Times have changed. Business is everything now," one somberly observes.

"Election" is the least violent film about the triads we can think of — not that there isn’t a fair amount, but it’s always practical and carefully chosen. Johnny To’s film moves fluidly through the city — meetings are made on street corners, in restaurants, on a boat crossing the harbor, in homes. This is the city in which these men live, in which their families live, and they’re not going to go running out of alleys with guns ablaze. Outside of a scrabbling race across the border from China in which Lok and Big D’s men hand off the baton to one another as if it were, well, a baton, the main action takes place in dialogue — an epic power struggle conducted over cell phones, which should (thankfully) forever remove the film from any threat of a US remake.

It’s hardly a spoiler to let on that in the end, the old ways prevail yet again, and Lok is sworn in with the thirty-six oaths of loyalty, parts of which we’ve heard earlier in the film, repeated by different men as an ineffectual incantation to ward off a betrayal, or to justify an act of brutality. "Honor will bring prosperity," the ceremony goes, and as the film skims ahead, that certainly seems to be the case — which makes the final, cynical twist with which To punctuates "Election" all the more gratifying. After all, brotherhood is all very well and good, but business is business.

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Final Countdown

The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at IFC.com

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Rev Up

Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

Uncle-Buck

Give Back

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…