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Odds: Friday – Notable quotes.

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Who loves ya like a fat kid loves cake?Tony, who knew? In his review of "Get Rich or Die Tryin’," A. O. Scott reveals his inner Sasha Frere-Jones (okay, maybe it’s not that exciting):

As a rapper, 50 Cent has been an overachiever, selling boatloads of records in spite of his pedestrian skills. Lacking the verbal wit of a Jay-Z, the storytelling ability of a Biggie Smalls or the engaging personality of a Kanye West, he has gotten over through doggedness and a certain truculent charisma.

From J.R. Jones in the Chicago Reader:

I missed "Jesus Is Magic" when it had its Chicago premiere at the Museum of Contemporary Art, and wasn’t looking forward to seeing it for the first time in a roomful of mostly male journalists. It’s probably the hardest possible way to enjoy a comedy, jammed in among a bunch of competitors who are all hypersensitive to the others’ reaction. (The Chicago Film Critics Association recently asked members to stop snorting and laughing dismissively during press screenings.)

We searched for as long as three minutes for that memo in the CFCA website, but no dice. Unfortunately.

Elsewhere: David Cronenberg‘s adapting "Dead Ringers" into a miniseries for some other network.

Sweet Jesus, that could be so good! Fortunately, they’ve gone and invested in a quality screenwriter for the project: Wesley Strick, fresh off of "Doom." "Semper Fi, motherfucker!" Nevertheless, it’s Cronenberg, we’re thrilled.

Also, Kiyoshi Kurosawa‘s "Pulse" finally made its convoluted way to US theaters on Wednesday — should you have a chance, we’d highly recommend it, as it’s generally considered the brightest moment of the now declining J-horror wave. We’re pretty sure it’s good, though as is our habit with any even vaguely frightening film, we watched the whole thing preemptively peeping between our fingers, just in case a ghost or monster or murderer should pop up (this really impresses the other kids at the critic screenings).

Back Monday.

+ Even a Ruthless Thug Can Have a Sensitive Side (NY Times)
+ So Funny You Could Cry (Chicago Reader)
+ Cronenberg’s Ringers ‘set for TV’ (BBC)

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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