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Guilty pleasures.

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Nothing can save you now!As the cinetrix over at Pullquote points out, what makes Matt Feeney‘s Slate piece on the guilty pleasure movie so great is how carefully and thoroughly he lays out what exactly constitutes a guilty pleasure, or, as he puts it:

Because these pleasures are guilty, I’ve gone to tiresome lengths not just to justify them to myself, but to define them as well.

After a lengthy discourse, Feeney picks four films ("Double Jeopardy," "Devil’s Advocate," "Cruel Intentions" and "Wild Things," if you’re wondering). We’re going to have to say that for us, these is no guilty pleasure greater than 1992’s "The Cutting Edge," starring Moira Kelly as the bitchy figure-skating diva and D.B. Sweeney as the (cough) hockey skater recruited to be her partner. Makes a great (if obvious) double feature with "Ice Castles" (which, incidentally, sometimes Salon writer Cintra Wilson hilariously rhapsodizes over for several pages in her novel "Colors Insulting to Nature," if you ever have the opportunity). We’d also like to recommend our colleague Matt Singer‘s epic take on Neil Diamond‘s ill-advised foray into acting, 1980’s "The Jazz Singer."

On that note, some generally mean-spirited (and thus, theoretically, guilty) or generally fluffy news:

Ew! groundless celebrity dating rumor: Al Pacino and Kirstie Alley. Via WENN (which apparently got this from Star): "They were huddled for the whole evening at the Chateau Marmont, and, at one point, Kirstie was stroking his thigh as she talked to him. It was bizarre. They totally looked as if they were on a date."

Susan Wloszczyna at USA Today covers what she calls "The ‘Elizabethtown’ Massacre" (snap!) (no, really, we wish we’d thought of it) and checks up on director Cameron Crowe, who’s apparently stopped reading reviews of his latest entirely (the final cut of the film is shorter than the version that so unsuccessfully made festival rounds).

James Silver at the Guardian investigates how the similarly universally panned "Revolver" managed to come up with a positive pull-quote (but only one? Where’s Joel Siegel when you need him?)

In honor of LA Weekly‘s annual "Best of" issue, Nikki Finke pens a smug (though, we guess, well-meaning) ode to Hollywood’s "Wannabes."

And, though we’re normally allergic to "Top ____" lists, we’re not particularly inflamed by Total Film‘s "50 Greatest Horror Movies of All Time."

+ Guilty as charged (Pullquote)
+ The Guilty Pleasure (Slate)
+ The Film Geek’s "Z Channel" Guide to New DVDs (IFC News)
+ Alley Dating Pacino? (WENN)
+ ‘Elizabethtown’ takes criticism, trims (USA Today)
+ How to flog a turkey (Guardian)
+ Plantation Hollywood (LA Weekly)
+ Shock Horror! (Total Film)

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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