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DID YOU READ

It’s the same old song.

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Just you try making this one into some meta-Hollywood commentary.(We were going for some Four Tops reference here, but then we ended up looking up the actual lyrics for "It’s the Same Old Song" and were briefly horrified by how far off we’ve apparently always been. "A different meaning since you been gone"…who’d have thought?)

Have you heard? The box office has been down. Sharon Waxman once again steps up to the mike to belt "State of the Hollywood Industry (It’s No Good)." We would be snide about the mysterious familiarity of this piece, but The Reeler’s already outsnided us on the topic. Drat! For a British perspective on the problem, see Nat Segnit in the Times of London, who says, oh, pretty much the same thing.

Anyway, it’s been a whole summer of lousy box office returns…where’s our revolution? Why aren’t the gaudy gold-plated streets of Tinseltown cracking under the pressure? Why hasn’t California fallen into the ocean in despair? Why are they still planning more TV series adaptations? If this is the big story its frequent appearance at various news outlets would lead us to believe it is, then we want movie execs piling their families into jalopies and setting off for Vancouver to find work. C’mon Waxman, it’s your beat, give us something.

Say, isn’t it funny how terrible movies based on TV series are? How about more articles on the subject? Joe Queenan at the Guardian and Kevin Maher at the Times of London shed no new light, but they do have the excuse of a UK "Bewitched"/"Dukes of Hazzard" double-punch release (Lord knows, we’re ever so far beyond any cheap jokes on the well-trodden subject — cough). Meanwhile, Lorne Manly at the New York Times writes about how people have been predicting the death of video stores for over a decade, and how they stubbornly persist in keeping on keeping on. We actually haven’t been to a video story in years and, after reading the piece, felt rather nostalgic for our suburban childhood Blockbuster, with its florescent lights and walls of shelving filled only with copies of "The Last Boy Scout" and/or "Last Action Hero."

We’re feeling punchy today, apologies.

+ Summer Fading, Hollywood Sees Fizzle (NY Times)
+ What went wrong for Hollywood? (Times of London)
+ Idiots box (Guardian)
+ Please no, not another remake (Times of London)
+ Extinction Long Seen, Video Stores Hang On (NY Times)

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at IFC.com

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

Uncle-Buck

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…