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Odds: Wednesday – “Chocolate! Chocolate!”

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What DO you get when you guzzle down sweets?Sorry, beloveds, other duties called today. But, a few things:

Mark Lotto in the New York Observer has a rather lyrical look at why we don’t seem to enjoy going out to see movies much anymore. He runs through the summer’s high points and it’s dismal disappointments, and reflects:

That’s exactly what we’re hoping for when we go to the movies: that
they’ll hit us like a hammer to the knee, that we’ll laugh suddenly or
cry suddenly or jump or shout. Movies may not change lives, but now and
again, someone reminds us how to get lost in the screen. During a
Sunday matinee of "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory," in the arctic dark
of the 19th Street Loews Cineplex, a man in the audience cried out, "Chocolate!" His voice was plaintive, semi-ecstatic, a little bit
scary. "Chocolate!" he declared. At that particular moment, it was
apropos of less than you might think. He was just suddenly seized by
something he must have seen or felt up on screen, and like one of the
kids, cried out. The best movies are like Quaker meetings, and the
audience is involuntarily overwhelmed and totally overcome.

In the Guardian, Rusty Goffe, one of the tragically orange Oompa Loompas of 1971’s "Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory," writes about his experience filming that movie, and how computer graphics are squeezing a lot of little people out of the entertainment business.

David Thompson at the Independent wonders if maybe it’s time for Tim Burton and Johnny Depp to take some time off the whimsy path.

At The Age, Philippa Hawker interviews Hong Kong director Fruit Chan, who’s in Australia for the Melbourne International Film Festival, where a retrospective of his work is being screened, including his latest, "Dumplings," the full-length version of the horrifying short of the same name that was the best part of horror anthology "Three…Extremes."

And best wishes (break a finger? is there a traditional saying for someone about to embark on a big writing project?) to Ben Slater at harrylimetheme, who, after months of research is about to begin writing his "Saint Jack" book.

+ Scarlett! I Don’t Give a Damn (NY Observer)
+ My life as an Oompa (Guardian)
+ Film Studies: Johnny and Tim: maybe it’s time to move on, boys (Independent)
+ Serves of Fruit boost festival (The Age)
+ jack’s back (harrylimetheme)

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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