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Midweek reviews.

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Yuka Itaya as AyumiThis is really just an excuse for us to indulge our unavoidable Armond White fixation. In his latest effort, M. White takes on David LaChapelle’s "Rize," and illuminates exactly why we can’t look away from his reviews (we mean that both in an entranced and in a "Check it out, a car crash!" way). He starts off by acidly cutting into exactly what’s off-putting about LaChapelle’s undeniably cool-looking dance doc:

Fashion photographer David LaChappelle wears two hats as the director of the documentary "Rize." First is a backwards baseball cap to prove he’s a style maven. The second (if you look hard) is a safari hat. "Rize" gives one the impression of a great white hunter snapping pictures of wildlife in deepest, darkest Africa. LaChappelle’s video-slick view of black-youth dance culture in South Central Los Angeles is just a new form of racial stigma.

But then, he indulges his worst habits, which would be his obsession with what other critics think and how they’re wrong, wrong, wrong, and his insistent on trumpeting ignored some appallingly bad, seemingly selected at random film:

LaChappelle sells this distorted sociology to the same gatekeepers who ignored the astonishing street choreography in "You Got Served." That musical-drama, vibrantly staged by music-video veteran Chris Stokes, asked audiences to imagine the ambitions and emotions of black teens. "Rize" merely insists they be objectified.

"You Got Served." "You Got Served"?! For fuck’s sake. Excuse us while we have a Don Music moment…

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Ahhhh. Anyway, at the San Francisco Bay Guardian, Johnny Ray Huston’s review of "Me and You and Everyone We Know" is really just an excuse to reminisce about when they both lived in Portland and used to hang out. It’s nice: "I remember lending July a copy of Agnès Varda’s "Cléo from 5 to 7" and how much she loved the film – with an intensity matched only by her wonder at discovering we shared the same birthday."

Kenji Uchida is a young, fairly unknown Japanese director whose film "Unmei Janai Hito (A Stranger of Mine)" was unexpectedly accepted into the Cannes International Critics’ Week, where it picked up three of the smaller awards. Mark Schilling reviews the film for the Japan Times ("as a Hollywood calling card, as well as a comedy in a minor key for smart people, ‘Unmei’ succeeds well enough"), and interviews Uchida.

+ Krumpled (NY Press)
+ Crazy, fantastic world (SF Bay Guardian)
+ A little more Wilder please to really hit the mark (Japan Times)
+ A prize-winning directorquite happy to have a laugh (Japan Times)

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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