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DID YOU READ

The sky, she falls.

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The new "zipped lip" marketing? Canadian war poster: House of Seagram, MontrealWe are now in our 18th week of Box Office Slump, which has heralded another round of "Where are we going? Where have we been?" from all corners. Ty Burr at the Boston Globe suggests the system is broken — movies aren’t worse, but we would rather stay in our increasingly well-appointed homes than pay to schlep our way out to a possibly unpleasant theater with the rest of the rabble. Burr also points out that no one makes movies for grown-ups anymore:

[T]he film industry has by and large written them off. This may be a smart business move — most of my peers are too exhausted to do much beyond popping in a Netflix movie and falling asleep 30 minutes later — but it leaves filmmakers and audiences with depressingly few options…It’s worth noting that the major studios no longer bother with straight-up dramas and awards bait, leaving such films to boutique wings that know how to turn a movie out cheaply. Even then, profits are rare.

Well, according to that study, the average G-rated film was eleven times more profitable than its R-rated counterpart, and while one could certainly quibble with those numbers (sans Pixar, which is certainly not the norm, they’d be far less impressive, and we can’t find David Poland’s analysis on that to link to or we would), it does seem that any movie shiny enough to hold a kid’s attention for ninety minutes does decently.

Geoff Pevere at the Toronto Star makes similar points, bemoaning the death of the drama and detailing the fact that the only "grownup movie" around this season is "Cinderella Man," and that despite decent reviews and all, it’s barely made back half of its production costs.

At the Guardian, Mark Lawson talks about the new, anti-word-of-mouth marketing ("zipped lip") being adopted by the "War of the Worlds" crew, seeming out of bewilderment that none of the old, trusty ways of building interest in a film seem to be working anymore. Lawson credits the internet with wresting control of advance buzz from the studios, and claims that for "WotW," some publications were kept out of advanced screenings (including the NYT?!). At said paper, Sharon Waxman has her on take on how this summer, watching the celebrities’ off-camera antics became more interesting to people than watching the films themselves. And at the LA Times, Rachel Abramowitz and R. Kinsey Low inform us that not only are Americans neglecting to go to the movies this summer, so is the rest of the world: "According to figures from Nielsen EDI, which tracks box-office performance, grosses in Germany are down 14%. In Spain, they’re down 9%, and in Australia they’re down 11%."

+ Are the movies dying? (Boston Globe)
+ Study shows G-rated fare more profitable (Reuters)
+ Where have the grownup movies gone? (Toronto Star)
+ Hollywood crisis as summer hits dry up (Guardian)
+ You’ve Read the Gossip; Still Want to See the Movie? (NY Times)
+ Moviegoing’s overseas slump (LA Times)

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Rev Up

Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Uncle-Buck

Give Back

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…

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A-O Rewind

Celebrating Portlandia One Sketch at a Time

The final season of Portlandia approaches.

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GIFs via Giphy

Most people measure time in minutes, hours, days, years…At IFC, we measure it in sketches. And nothing takes us way (waaaaaay) back like Portlandia sketches. Yes, there’s a Portlandia milepost from every season that changed the way we think, behave, and pickle things. In honor of Portlandia’s 8th and final season, Subaru presents a few of our favorites.

via GIPHY

Put A Bird On It

Portlandia enters the pop-culture lexicon and inspires us to put birds on literally everything.

Colin the Chicken

Who’s your chicken, really? Behold the emerging locavore trend captured perfectly to the nth degree.

Dream Of The ’90s

This treatise on Portland made it clear that “the dream” was alive and well.

No You Go

We Americans spend most of our lives in cars. Fortunately, there’s a Portlandia sketch for every automotive situation.

A-O River!

We learned all our outdoor survival skills from Kath and Dave.

One More Episode

The true birth of binge watching, pre-Netflix. And what you’ll do once Season 8 premieres.

Catch up on Portlandia’s best moments before the 8th season premieres January 18th on IFC.

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