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Quit your day job.

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051805_blackwhiteviolenceWorking with Quentin Tarantino = Ten-inch hypodermic needle plunged through your breastplate. But in a nice way, or so says the "CSI" cast, smiling for the cameras at MSNBC. Tarantino apparently loves the show and watched it on "the Adrenaline Channel" in Beijing while filming "Kill Bill," and the shows producers, hearing he was a fan, gave him a call. Tarantino’s made noise about wanting a TV show of his very own. On a side note, "Sin City" has apparently taught us that violence in black and white doesn’t count, as he mentions one scene in the finale "so gory I think we are going to have to show it in black and white. But it’s a hallucination sequence, so it will work kind of well like that."

Also stepping further into television — Jerry Bruckheimer, who will be producing four new series this season, which, alongside his six returning ones, puts him in a position to break (say it ain’t so!) the great Aaron Spelling‘s record. The Hollywood Reporter has a good look at how someone who made his name making big, dumb movies has done so well with big, dumb TV shows. Oh, we kid. We watch "CSI" reruns, like, every day, often as we’re drinking our dinner.

Also in HR, John Woo gets ready to lead the charge of filmmakers into the more reliably profitable world of video games, as he plans to direct "Stranglehold," a next-generation action game.

So doesn’t anyone want to make movies anymore? Why, yes…

Artist brothers Jake and Dinos Chapman will direct a feature-length horror movie for FilmFour in the UK. In the Guardian, they discuss how they’re not the first of the Young British Artists to make a movie — Dinos says "I never saw Tracey [Emin]‘s film ["Top Spot"] but I’m sure it’s rubbish. I’d put money on it. There are two of us so I suppose there’s a 50% extra chance of making a good film."

Elsewhere: Salon has a talk with Rachel DeWoskin, the author of the rather amazing sounding "Foreign Babes in Beijing," who went from working at a US PR firm in Beijing to starring in one of China’s most popular soap operas, about two American exchange students (one good, and the other, played by DeWoskin, an evil, selfish homewrecker) and their love lives. And the New York Times has a brief look at a, um, new variant of an American dream — girl moves to Hollywood, becomes powerful and feared studio marketing head, is "discovered" by casting agent.

+ Quentin Tarantino digs directing ‘CSI’ (MSNBC)
+ Bruckheimer to field a record 10 series (HR)
+ Woo putting ‘Stranglehold’ on vid games (HR)
+ Chapman brothers plan fresh horror (Guardian)
+ China girl (Salon)

+ She’d Rather Flack (NY Times)

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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