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Over Tribeca, Poised for Cannes.

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050905_pradastoreThe London Times has an (urg) rather scathing piece on Tribeca and the rampant, soulless materialism by Denis Seguin. Yes, it is strange to see an attempt at a meaningful film on 9/11 being screened at the Prada store in SoHo, but, despite all the best interests the festival was founded under, it’s not going to have the gravitas of the big three European festivals for at least another twenty-five years. And lord knows, it will never be like Sundance, for which we should be thankful. We dunno where we’re going with this, other than…what do you expect with a glossy festival sponsored by a credit card company and smack in the middle of some of the most obscenely expensive commercial and residential real estate in an already ridiculous city?

As if to reinforce that most of the major festivals are ridiculous (we’re feeling curmugeonly today), the Times then has Neil Fisher on how to do Cannes without an official press accredidation:

Get chatting in a smoky, poky bar (the Petit Majestic is the current locale of choice), invent a plausible life story and show some interest in some of the more off-beat features, and you’ll most likely end up being press-ganged into a screening the next day. It might not be Lars von Trier’s latest three-hour epic, but it will get you further into the right crowd.

But don’t worry, he assures us, "Even if the schmoozing leads to nothing but enormous bills at the Cannes bars, there are still some more orthodox ways of getting to see the films."

Meanwhile, Variety wonders why Europe doesn’t have a star system like the US, and by that they mean that while there are many respected, big name European actors, it’s the Americans that have all the photogs clawing each others eyes out to shoot on the red carpet.

And both Variety and the Observer offer an array of Cannes war stories — Variety from four international buyers, and in a separate piece, from various directors, and the Observer from seven Brits, some directors, some executives, and one Emily Mortimer.

+ Buy buy baby, baby buy buy (Times)
+ Cannes for dummies: how to bluff your way on to the A-list (Times)
+ U.S. stars still rule red carpet (Variety)
+ Sales survivors (Variety)
+ War stories from Cannes (Variety)
+ Screen test (Observer)

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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