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Incoming: Nothing new under the sun edition.

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053105_rambo_1Yes, there will be a "Rambo IV": "I’ve signed the deal and I have the old headband, machine gun and bow and arrow ready to go. I am looking forward to showing movie fans the real action hero again," Sly tells the Guardian.

Yes, there will be an "Indiana Jones IV"via the Hollywood News, Spielberg and Lucas have finally signed off on a script, which leaves only Harrison Ford to give his approval, locate his hat, gun, bullwhip, from Manhattan Mini-Storage or such.

Yes, there will be a "Ring 3," according to Empire. But probably no Naomi Watts, who has apparently finally made the leap to DVD.

Yes, also according to Empire, there will be another "For Whom the Bell Tolls," which is not technically a remake, just another film version of the Hemingway book, but still…Leo is no Gary Cooper.

Dark Horizons‘ Garth Franklin checks up on the status of other rumored franchise follow-ups, while over at MSNBC, John Hartl has the least controversial top ten remakes list conceivable. Only one film on it was made within the last twenty years, despite, as Anne Thompson in the Observer, um, observes, near all of this summer’s films are tied to familiar material, whether they’re remakes of "classic" films or based on beloved comic books. "The Island," Thompson depressingly points out, despite appearing cooler (with its pairing of Scarlett Jo and Ewan McGregor) and slicker (director Michael Bay is inarguably talented at exploding things) than your average summer flick, is starting off well-behind the other big summer films because it can’t coast on the recognition value of its source material (it’s an original story).

Other randomness: via CRI, amateur historian Gavin Menzies is apparently writing a screenplay version of his controversial book "1421: The Year China Discovered America" for a medium-budgeted film set to go into production in March.

And there’s a trailer here for Don Roos"Happy Endings," the ensemble dramedy that stars Maggie Gyllenhaal and that played fairly well at Sundance.

+ Rambo coming out of retirement (Guardian)
+ LucasBerger approves Indiana Jones 4 Script (Hollywood News)
+ Ring 3 Gets A Green Light (Empire)
+ Bell Tolls For DiCaprio (Empire)
+ So Many Sequels, So Little Originality (Dark Horizons)
+ Remakes: They’re déjà vu all over again (MSNBC)
+ Popcorn, hotdogs, eyes front (Observer)
+ The Year China Discovered the World Adopted to a Film (CRI)
+ Trailer: "Happy Endings" (Apple)

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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