Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy

Strange Brew

10 Fictional Beverages You Probably Want to Avoid  

Catch the return of Todd Margaret Thursday January 7th at 10P on IFC.

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Touchstone Pictures and Spyglass Ente/Ronald Grant/Everett

A drink can be an escape from the realities of the world. But there are some tasty beverages from pop culture that may give you more than a wicked hangover. To celebrate the return of Todd Margaret and its extreme beverage Thunder Muscle, we’ve found ten tipples you’ll want to avoid that bring escapism to awful new extremes.

1. Elsinore Beer, Strange Brew

Elsinore Beer

MGM

The refreshing lager in Strange Brew is an evil-mind control chemical concocted by Max Von Sydow in an scheme to dominate the world. The beer renders the drinker docile and compliant, but certain sounds will trigger a violent reaction.


2. Romulan Ale, Star Trek franchise

Paramount

Paramount

Romulan Ale is the bright blue drink so aggressive even the Federation banned it, and they fit their ships with machines which can replicate any drink in existence. It even gave Captain Kirk a hangover, and he’s been exposed to more alien fluids than the Federation Xenobiological Research Institute.


3. Thunder Muscle, Todd Margaret

Thunder Muscle is the mysterious Korean energy drink at the heart of Todd Margaret. The ingredients are unknown, the effects are untested, but like anything touched by Todd, it’s bound to escalate into an embarrassing avalanche of catastrophe.


4. Life Cry, Black Books

Channel 4

Channel 4

The British series Black Books is a brilliant comedy of wasted lives and bad decisions. And both are contained in every bottle of Life Cry. Fran brings a bottle to her friend’s hen party, assuring them all that “You know you’re going to have a good time when there’s a bleeding polar bear on the label.


5. Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

Probably the most famous fictional drink ever imagined comes from The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. If you want to find the meaning of life, it’s 42, but if you want to forget about life the Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster will solve all your problems in one.


6. Black Frost, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Black Frost

The angry bartender at Jack’s, the bar frequented by the Buffy gang, spikes the Black Frost beer with a magical potion which reverts the drinker to a primitive Neanderthal state. Which may indicate the bartender doesn’t know what beer is actually for.


7. Mudder’s Milk, Firefly

Firefly Mudders Milk

The crew of the Firefly have endured a lot in their quest, and one of the most disgusting sounding is Mudder’s Milk: “all the protein, vitamins and carbs of your grandma’s best turkey dinner, plus 15 percent alcohol.” It’s described as being great for the “Mudder” slaves, feeding them up while keeping them too bleary to rebel.


8. Schraderbrau, Breaking Bad

AMC

AMC

This Breaking Bad beer was homebrewed to “silky perfection” by Walter White’s brother-in-law Hank. But drinking it would mean being even remotely connected in the White family, and that has never ended well for anybody, in any way, ever.


9. Vitameatavegamin, I Love Lucy

Vitaminvegamin

In a classic episode, Lucy starred in a TV commercial for the fictional drink with a healthy 23% alcohol, which sounds fun, but also “vitamins, meat, vegetables, and minerals”, which sounds appalling. Still, it probably tastes better than the kale smoothie we had this morning.


10. Bor’Kaan, Babylon 5

Babylon 5

Babylon 5‘s Bor’Kaan is an alien drink so strong humans can only drink it after taking an alcohol blocker. When Commander Ivanova impresses the same species, they create a human-safe version by “diluting” the drink with Russian vodka.

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SO EXCITED!!!

Reminders that the ’90s were a thing

"The Place We Live" is available for a Jessie Spano-level binge on Comedy Crib.

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Unless you stopped paying attention to the world at large in 1989, you are of course aware that the ’90s are having their pop cultural second coming. Nobody is more acutely aware of this than Dara Katz and Betsy Kenney, two comedians who met doing improv comedy and have just made their Comedy Crib debut with the hilarious ’90s TV throwback series, The Place We Live.

IFC: How would you describe “The Place We Live” to a fancy network executive you just met in an elevator?

Dara: It’s everything you loved–or loved to hate—from Melrose Place and 90210 but condensed to five minutes, funny (on purpose) and totally absurd.

IFC: How would you describe “The Place We Live” to a drunk friend of a friend you met in a bar?

Betsy: “Hey Todd, why don’t you have a sip of water. Also, I think you’ll love The Place We Live because everyone has issues…just like you, Todd.”

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IFC: When you were living through the ’90s, did you think it was television’s golden age or the pop culture apocalypse?


Betsy: I wasn’t sure I knew what it was, I just knew I loved it!


Dara: Same. Was just happy that my parents let me watch. But looking back, the ’90s honored The Teen. And for that, it’s the golden age of pop culture. 

IFC: Which ’90s shows did you mine for the series, and why?

Betsy: Melrose and 90210 for the most part. If you watch an episode of either of those shows you’ll see they’re a comedic gold mine. In one single episode, they cover serious crimes, drug problems, sex and working in a law firm and/or gallery, all while being young, hot and skinny.


Dara: And almost any series we were watching in the ’90s, Full House, Saved By the Bell, My So Called Life has very similar themes, archetypes and really stupid-intense drama. We took from a lot of places. 

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IFC: How would you describe each of the show’s characters in terms of their ’90s TV stereotype?

Dara: Autumn (Sunita Mani) is the femme fatale. Robin (Dara Katz) is the book worm (because she wears glasses). Candace (Betsy Kenney) is Corey’s twin and gives great advice and has really great hair. Corey (Casey Jost) is the boy next door/popular guy. Candace and Corey’s parents decided to live in a car so the gang can live in their house. 
Lee (Jonathan Braylock) is the jock.

IFC: Why do you think the world is ready for this series?

Dara: Because everyone’s feeling major ’90s nostalgia right now, and this is that, on steroids while also being a totally new, silly thing.

Delight in the whole season of The Place We Live right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib. It’ll take you back in all the right ways.

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New Nasty

Whips, Chains and Hand Sanitizer

Turn On The Full Season Of Neurotica At IFC's Comedy Crib

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Jenny Jaffe has a lot going on: She’s writing for Disney’s upcoming Big Hero 6: The Series, developing comedy projects with pals at Devastator Press, and she’s straddling the line between S&M and OCD as the creator and star of the sexyish new series Neurotica, which has just made its debut on IFC’s Comedy Crib. Jenny gave us some extremely intimate insight into what makes Neurotica (safely) sizzle…

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IFC: How would you describe Neurotica to a fancy network executive you met in an elevator?

Jenny: Neurotica is about a plucky Dominatrix with OCD trying to save her small-town dungeon.

IFC: How would you describe Neurotica to a drunk friend of a friend you met in a bar?

Jenny: Neurotica is about a plucky Dominatrix with OCD trying to save her small-town dungeon. You’re great. We should get coffee sometime. I’m not just saying that. I know other people just say that sometimes but I really feel like we’re going to be friends, you know? Here, what’s your number, I’ll call you so you can have my number!

IFC: What’s your comedy origin story?

Jenny: Since I was a kid I’ve dealt with severe OCD and anxiety. Comedy has always been one of the ways I’ve dealt with that. I honestly just want to help make people feel happy for a few minutes at a time.

IFC: What was the genesis of Neurotica?

Jenny: I’m pretty sure it was a title-first situation. I was coming up with ideas to pitch to a production company a million years ago (this isn’t hyperbole; I am VERY old) and just wrote down “Neurotica”; then it just sort of appeared fully formed. “Neurotica? Oh it’s an over-the-top romantic comedy about a Dominatrix with OCD, of course.” And that just happened to hit the buttons of everything I’m fascinated by.

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IFC: How would you describe Ivy?

Jenny: Ivy is everything I love in a comedy character – she’s tenacious, she’s confident, she’s sweet, she’s a big wonderful weirdo.

IFC: How would Ivy’s clientele describe her?

Jenny:  Open-minded, caring, excellent aim.

IFC: Why don’t more small towns have local dungeons?

Jenny: How do you know they don’t?

IFC: What are the pros and cons of joining a chain mega dungeon?

Jenny: You can use any of their locations but you’ll always forget you have a membership and in a year you’ll be like “jeez why won’t they let me just cancel?”

IFC: Mouths are gross! Why is that?

Jenny: If you had never seen a mouth before and I was like “it’s a wet flesh cave with sharp parts that lives in your face”, it would sound like Cronenberg-ian body horror. All body parts are horrifying. I’m kind of rooting for the singularity, I’d feel way better if I was just a consciousness in a cloud.

See the whole season of Neurotica right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

The-Craft

The ’90s Are Back

The '90s live again during IFC's weekend marathon.

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Photo Credit: Everett Digital, Columbia Pictures

We know what you’re thinking: “Why on Earth would anyone want to reanimate the decade that gave us Haddaway, Los Del Rio, and Smash Mouth, not to mention Crystal Pepsi?”

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Thoughts like those are normal. After all, we tend to remember lasting psychological trauma more vividly than fleeting joy. But if you dig deep, you’ll rediscover that the ’90s gave us so much to fondly revisit. Consider the four pillars of true ’90s culture.

Boy Bands

We all pretended to hate them, but watch us come alive at a karaoke bar when “I Want It That Way” comes on. Arguably more influential than Brit Pop and Grunge put together, because hello – Justin Timberlake. He’s a legitimate cultural gem.

Man-Child Movies

Adam Sandler is just behind The Simpsons in terms of his influence on humor. Somehow his man-child schtick didn’t get old until the aughts, and his success in that arena ushered in a wave of other man-child movies from fellow ’90s comedians. RIP Chris Farley (and WTF Rob Schneider).

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Teen Angst

In horror, dramas, comedies, and everything in between: Troubled teens! Getting into trouble! Who couldn’t relate to their First World problems, plaid flannels, and lose grasp of the internet?

Mainstream Nihilism

From the Coen Bros to Fincher to Tarantino, filmmakers on the verge of explosive popularity seemed interested in one thing: mind f*cking their audiences by putting characters in situations (and plot lines) beyond anyone’s control.

Feeling better about that walk down memory lane? Good. Enjoy the revival.

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And revisit some important ’90s classics all this weekend during IFC’s ’90s Marathon. Check out the full schedule here.